Not Broken
by Follow-ur-Shadow
Summary: Harvey proposes to Donna but a spate of unfortunate events create a strain in their relationship and a disaster on their wedding day puts everyone's lives at risk. Will they make it to the altar or will the future they've been planning end in tragedy? (Sequel to Bent)
1. Not Broken Anymore

**Not Broken**

 **Category:** Romance/Angst

 **Summary:** Harvey proposes to Donna but a spate of unfortunate events create a strain in their relationship and a disaster on their wedding day puts everyone's lives at risk. Will they make it to the altar or will the future they've been planning end in tragedy?

 **AN:** Another multi-chap fic because I clearly hate myself haha. For those who have read it, this is a sequel to my previous story Bent but it works as a stand alone. There are some references thrown in for fun but nothing central to the plot. Also the line format option is driving me crazy so I'm posting as-is. Happy reading! :)

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I can't stop thinking, how you just keep making sense of all that was broken before.

 **\- Not Broken Anymore, Blue October**

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To say the location is extravagant wouldn't even begin to do the proposal justice. Fortunately Harvey Specter isn't a man shy of spending money. He likes luxury, flashy cars and expensive suits so when it comes to planning things the devil lies in the detail not his bank account.

To say the location is extravagant wouldn't even begin to do the proposal justice. Fortunately Harvey Specter isn't a man shy of spending money. He likes luxury, flashy cars and expensive suits so when it comes to planning things the devil lies in the detail not his bank account.

It took some finessing to get Donna to London but Rachel had been incredibly persuasive and convinced her the girls trip would be fun. He'd then worked on a way to fly Mike and himself over without her suspecting anything (because she's a stickler for managing his diary -even as COO) but with Louis onboard and a few dummy appointments penciled in, they were able to clear his schedule for a few days. The final stroke of genius was having the firm redirect his call so when he rang to wish her a happy birthday it looked like he was still inside the office not thousands of miles up in the air above the Atlantic Ocean.

He's planned everything meticulously and according to Rachel's text his girlfriend is still unaware and assumes the trip to Shakespeare's Globe is just another stop on their sightseeing tour. He has his doubts- she's _Donna_ , but after weeks of planning it seems to be coming together and he wipes his palms down the length of his trousers, ignoring the smug look Mike throws him.

He already regrets inviting the kid and he checks his watch, shifting his gaze out the office window and down to the open theatre below. It's an impressive space but he doesn't really care about the architecture or history, just impressing Donna, and he flicks his wrist up again with a sigh. "Where the _hell_ are they?"

The room is small and Mike shuffles back on the polished desk absently swinging his legs with amusement. It's rare to see Harvey out of his comfort zone but the agitated pace is starting to make Mike dizzy and a light warning spills from his upturned lips, "seriously dude, you need to stop freaking out."

Harvey stops and shoots him a glare. "I'm _not_ freaking out."

He's isn't. That would imply he thinks there's a chance Donna will say no and she won't. They've been talking about getting married on and off for months and in every conversation she's been on-board agreeing it would be a good idea at some point but maintaining there's no rush; she's perfectly content. By his logic that means there's no reason he should be nervous- he's _not_.

Mike watches him start to stalk the tight space again and rolls his eyes candidly. The man really is impossible at times. "Come on, you know she's going to love this."

"Of course she will." Harvey asserts, stopping in front of the window for the third time. It's one of the few occasions he's actually put effort into doing something romantic. In fact it's probably the single most amorous thing he's ever come up with but he doesn't want the extravagance to draw away from the intimacy and bites the inside of his cheek, uncharacteristically second guessing himself. "What if it's too much?"

"You mean hiring one of the most famous theatre's in the world, flying her out here to propose and lying about it?" Mike teases, _almost_ regretting it when Harvey pales against the mid-morning light. He's known the pair over a decade and admittedly the gesture is excessive but it speaks to both of them and he's willing to put money on Donna being completely wow'd and left speechless, a rarity that should easily seal the deal. "This _is_ Donna we're talking about..." he offers trying to give the man some genuine reassurance, "she's going to say yes."

Harvey nods digging his hands into his pockets with forced confidence. Either she's going to agree to marry him or she's going to completely flip out, slap him, and he's going to spend the entire flight back home trying to figure out what the hell he did wrong. Right now both seem like a possibility. "You psychic now?"

"I've read up on Stockholm syndrome-" Mike shoots back, receiving a vacant stare, and he sinks forward on his palms with a sigh, "because you _idiot_ she loves you." It takes a moment for the words to sink in, Harvey's shoulder's relaxing in response and Mike grins, "besides she's been engaged how many times? Odds are in your favour on this one."

Harvey tilts his head with an exaggerated huff, nearly jumping out of his skin when the theatre curator knocks on the door breaking the silence with his enunciated accent.

"Miss Paulsen and Mrs. Ross have arrived." He smiles warmly, readjusting his glasses. It's not everyday a billionaire from America flies in to pop the question and being a romantic himself the substantial revenue increase is just an added bonus. "If you'd both like to follow me I'll take you down."

Harvey braces himself reiterating that there's no reason to be nervous; he's got this... and Mike let's a low chuckle, pushing of the desk and catching the man's arm with nudge, "you did remember the ring right?"

" _Mike_ , I swear to god-" he breathes in sharply, exhaling at the young lawyer's amusement. If he does find himself needing to propose again he's dumping the kid in the furthest, remotest part of the world he can think of first... so Donna had better agree, for all their sake's.

.｡o - o｡..

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Amusement creeps into Donna's confusion as Rachel fusses 'fixing' the auburn hair curls draped over her shoulder. The brunette should be paying attention to the stunning woodwork, the carved out stands and the historic atmosphere not worrying about a few out of place strands and she pushes her friend's wrist away with a puzzled frown. " _Rach_ , what are you doing?

Rachel bites back a smile trying to contain herself and look natural despite the secret bursting to escape. She's been waiting weeks and isn't about to blow it now, not with all the effort they've gone too, but she can feel her excitement bubbling to the surface and tries to temper it casually, "you're about to be on a stage, just making sure you look the part."

Donna can't help her scepticism. "I _always_ look the part."

It's mostly true and Rachel drops her hand fighting a grin."You're right... I dunno what I was thinking." The diversion is poor at best, a feeble attempt to cover her frenzy and she quickly points over her shoulder making an excise to leave before she really does let something slip. "I have to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

"Now?" Donna stares in amazement at the odd but consistent behaviour. She was subjected to three outfit changes before breakfast, all but forced into a dress that feels far too flashy for an afternoon of sightseeing, and her best friend has barely been able to keep still fidgeting with anything and everything in reach. It obviously has something to do with her birthday, a surprise or something, and she plants her hands on her hips determined to draw out an answer but Rachel is quicker stepping back with an apoplectic shrug.

"Be right back, I promise."

She's left with little choice but to wait and angles her body toward the centre of the stage, feet sweeping across the floor and taking it all in. She can clearly picture the seventeenth century theatrics, how it must have felt when the stadium was packed, and she immediately thinks of Harvey wishing she could thank him for the trip. It was incredibly thoughtful and she feels a pang of disappointment that he couldn't join them but it's understandable with the firm's current case load. It simply wouldn't have been plausible for him _to_ -

"Donna."

Her heart skips at Havery's familiar voice and she turns around, panic stirring at the sight of him. She's beyond perplexed and it doesn't even occur to her that the timing's deliberate. Her first instinct is that something's wrong and she throws a worried expression at his approach. "Harvey, what are you doing here?"

Her alarm penetrates his nerves and he forces a smile reassuring her there's no emergency. "Relax... everything's fine." Her fear slides into confusion and he stops in front of her taking in a quick breath, "you said if I did this in my office with fairy lights you'd walk straight out, figured I had to find somewhere with more confusing exits."

Her eyes widen, lips parting in surprise as she tries to piece together what he's saying.

He gives her a moment to catch up, his attention washing over the outfit she's wearing. She looks stunning -as always- and he slips his hand into his pocket pulling out a small velvet box. Her gaze follows the movement, her cheeks flushing the same colour as her dress, and his mouth curves watching her finally register what's going on.

"You planned this?" She asks, still in a state of shock as she glances between his hand and the smirk cresting his lips. Usually she's on top of everyone else's game but this is something she definitely didn't see coming and she's honestly lost for words.

"You didn't know?" He really shouldn't tease but catching her off guard is nearly impossible and the amount of times he was almost caught out makes the whole extravagance that much more rewarding. The fact she's still gaping is an achievement in itself and he steps forward pressing his fingers into her hand to bring her back " _Donna..._ " he shifts in front of her shaking his awkwardness. Kneeling isn't exactly his style, neither are long heartfelt speeches, and he grazes her knuckles keeping things simple and to the point, "what do you say, want to get married?"

She almost laughs at the casualness but wouldn't expect anything less and moisture collects on her lashes as she leans in to answer him with a kiss.

He smiles against her mouth tasting the faintest hint of orange's and champagne as he breathes in the reaction trying not show his disappointment when she pulls back with a 'yes' replacing the feel of her lips. It's only been two days and he wants more but his need to reacquaint himself is second to her excitement and he tugs open the box revealing an Edwardian Tiffany engagement ring.

Her face lights up at the timeless piece and she catches his gaze, holding it and taking a moment to absorb everything swirling through her mind. She has no idea how he managed to pull off the surprise but swallows the rush of questions, wiping her eyes and trying not to feel self-conscious about the watery smile she can't seem to get rid of.

He feels a swell of pride as he takes the ring out and slides it onto her finger, his own coil of emotion tempering any further teasing. It's why he rarely goes all out with grand gestures but this time he's glad he made the exception and places the box inside his pocket, settling his hands around her waist and clearing the tightness from his throat.

"Happy birthday Donna."

She smiles like an idiot back at him, threading her fingers through his hair and meeting his lips with a fierce kiss. It feels like forever since she's seen him and she completely forgets about Rachel, reminded when a girly squeal erupts behind him. She glances over his shoulder and grins at Mike playfully covering Rachel's mouth to keep any more sounds escaping. "You brought the pup?"

"He insisted." Harvey reluctantly lets her go and amusement rings through his soft groan, "we should probably put him out of his misery, kid was a wreck."

She throws him a look suspecting the facts are being twisted but takes his hand regardless, shifting her attention towards Rachel as they approach. Harvey she can understand, even Mike to a degree, but she has no idea how she didn't see through her best friend and narrows her gaze suspiciously. "You knew this whole time."

Rachel gives an apologetic smile but it doesn't stick. She's more focused on the ring Harvey's been keeping a mystery and her eyes fall on the diamond with a mixture of shock and relief, directing it back to him, " _you_ picked this out?"

He wants to feign offence but can't, grinning like a cat who just got the cream. "You realise I'm not Mike. I actually have taste." The kid elbows him hard in the ribs and he smirks, collecting his side as he spots the curator by the far exit. It's not really his thing but he'd organised a private tour of the grounds and he places a hand on the small of Donna's back with a nod, "Oliver over there is going to show us around."

She leans back into him quirking her mouth, not sure if he's being deliberately smarmy or it's the jest-lag setting in. "His name is Owen."

"That's what I said." His smile says otherwise but he doesn't admit it ushering her over and weathering the platitudes and congratulations, making sure he finds a space at the back of the group when they start being led around. Mike does the same and it feels like a school trip, most of the historical facts lost on him, but Donna seems to be enjoying herself so he trails along resisting the urge to touch anything that looks fragile or important.

Mike doesn't have the same restraint and Harvey rolls his eyes when the kid picks up an old style helmet brandishing it on his head. He paid enough to hire the place, he doesn't need breakables added to the tab, and he steals it back trying not to give into the amusement pulling at his lips.

He can't help it.

He's never really taken a vacation before and the ease at which he settles into it surprising although that could have something to do with the future Mrs. Specter walking ahead of him. He can't help being caught up in her enthusiasm and after nearly an hour of roaming they find themselves in the much safer realms of the gift shop, deciding to head out for a drink and enjoy the English summer.

They find a place nearby with outdoor seating and he doesn't ague when Mike and Rachel insist on buying the first round, pulling out a chair for Donna and sliding her in. She makes a comment about the chivalry but he just shrugs with a loose smile commenting 'when _in Rome' ._

She snorts at the stereotype and he tugs his lapels deciding to keep the jacket on despite the sun beaming down. The air is still crisp and he makes himself comfortable beside his fiancee, watching her attention dart to the sparkle on her finger and a chuckle coils in his throat. "You really had no idea?"

Shakes her head still amazed he managed to pull off such an elaborate plan without her having the faintest inclination. She ran through his schedule before leaving and there's no way he could have rearranged everything at such short notice. "What did you do?" She asks accusingly, trying to think back to anything she may have glossed over but there's nothing- she was promoted for a reason.

He grins, easing himself against the cobblestone wall and enjoying the upper hand. "Let's just say I owe Louis."

It evasive and she knows Louis can't have taken on all his meeting because she checked his diary as well but she lets it slide deciding she'll find a way to pry the details out of him later. Maybe when they're alone back at the hotel. "I think we owe him one."

Humour flashes in his gaze as he fishes around the inner side of his suit pulling out the pen he purchased in the gift shop. It has a crystal globe on top and he clicks it with a satisfied smirk, "I think this has me covered."

She eyes the novelty gift shaking her head at the boyish grin spread across his face. "You're an idiot."

"And yet, _you_ agreed to marry me-" he points out, swirling the tip and sliding it back into his pocket.

She opens her mouth to protest or possibly agree (she isn't sure which) but is interrupted by Rachel and Mike returning with two gin and tonics and two pints of larger. The pair seat themselves on the opposite side of the table and Harvey lifts his glass to cheers, taking a sip and nearly spitting it out when Mike gleams at him from across the laminate surface.

"So you guys _really_ didn't do it at our wedding?"

Rachel slaps his arm and Harvey swallow roughly, his eyes landing on the brunette with a questioning look, "thought you would have taught him some manners by now?"

"It's a work in progress." She scoffs into her drink hiding her smile behind the tall glass.

Harvey shifts his gaze back to Donna, his expression softening as he recalls the night. Although he'd ended up drinking it out with Robert there are still parts that stir an entirely different association and he stretches his hand round the back of her chair with a wink, "I do miss that dress though."

She blushes deciding it might have to make a reappearance when they get home and it suddenly dawns on her why Rachel was insistent on choosing her outfit. Aside from the obvious she has no idea what their plans are and throws the question out to the table. "So anyone want to fill me in on what we're doing?"

Mike points to her glass and feigns an English accent, " _that_ my dear Watson, would be _drinking_."

"Funny." She shoots back the retort, crossing her legs and feathering her skirt down over her knee. She catches Harvey's gaze on her and knows he's too distracted to answer leaving it up to Rachel to fill in the blanks.

"Mike and I were thinking of going to see a show." She takes a sip of her drink, eyes moving passed her husband to the people strolling by. It's a busy street but her gaze is drawn to a corgi waddling through the mix and she grins down with a wave as he passes.

Mike deliberately ignores the interaction knowing it's a conversation that will likely unfold later. They've been talking about getting a dog but can't seem to agree on a breed. He wants a larger one, she wants a smaller one... it isn't going to resolve itself anytime soon and he steals her hand under the table winking at Donna. "Figured you guys might want some privacy to celebrate."

Harvey ignores the less than subtle connotation because truthfully it's exactly what he wants. Even more so now that the alcohol is starting to relax his inhibitions (that plus he's always had a thing for her in red) but he manages to keep his eyes averted as he relays the plan. "I booked us a table at the Shard for dinner at eight. Then afterwards, whatever you want to do."

His expression is easy and she has the distinct feeling he knows exactly what she wants to do but neither voice the innuendo Mike was suggesting. Instead her lips curve over the top of her straw with a cheeky smile, " _careful_... I could get used to being spoiled like this."

He drums the table with a raised eyebrow. "I figure your birthday warrants an exception." It isn't often he gets to surprise her because, well, she's _Donna_ and usually their work commitments don't leave room for many social engagements but if he could treat her more often he would deciding it's a nice change of pace.

"Ten bucks says you don't know my birthday." Mike throws out the challenge watching Harvey shift in his seat trying to come up with a plausible excuse. Being a lawyer it doesn't take him long.

"I sent you a card." He shrugs, pretty sure Donna mentioned it to him a few months back. If memory serves he even left a voice mail but he doesn't push his luck watching the kid jump in with a quick rebuttal.

"Yeah I remember..." he tilts his head curiously, "could have sworn that was in Donna's hand writing though." His gaze is questioning, though there's no annoyance to it whatsoever. He'd probably go into cardiac arrest if Harvey _did_ remember but it's fun to play the martyr and he grins taking a sip of beer.

Harvey phone buzzes before he can retaliate and he slides it out skimming the notification. He doesn't need to open it. The message is short and to the point and he slips it back inside his pocket with a smirk. "April ten."

Mike opens his mouth, realising the culprit has to be sat at the table, but neither Rachel or Donna have their phones out and he glares with an exasperated sigh, "are you guys kidding me right now?"

"I've got an open position for best man." Harvey grins behind his pint, deciding to throw the pup a bone, "would that help smooth things over?"

Mike scoffs at the platitude. He figured it was a given anyway (since Harvey was his) and he ignores the side-eye Rachel sends him, obviously anticipating where he's about to go with conversation. Rather than prove her right he gives her an indifferent shrug, "he was best man at mine."

"Yeah but I have more friends than you." Harvey shoots back, bringing his hand up to straighten his tie. The afternoon sun is getting stronger but he likes the weighted comfort and keeps the jacket on watching the corners of Mike's mouth twitch up in response.

"You don't have friends you have _acquaintances_."

The banter is light and easy and Harvey takes his turn with an indignant huff, "you want the job or not?"

The kid mutters something under his breath along the lines of 'needing to think about it' and Harvey shifts his attention back to his drink as Donna and Rachel steer the conversation towards venues, dates, flowers and god knows whatever else. It sounds like a minefield but Donna seems happy to take charge and he's grateful. The proposal just about tapped all his creative resource and he's content to sit back and relax, let it all sink in without worrying about work, clients or anything else that would usually consume his thoughts.

New York isn't going anywhere.

And for the next three days, neither is he.


	2. My Never

**AN:** Rated M for sexual content. I was a little nervous about posting this but I had some inspiration. Thanks AlternateShadesofBlue :)

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It wasn't my fault you rolled me over, flipped me over like a somersault and that doesn't happen to me.

 **\- My Never, Blue October.**

* * *

They arrive back at the hotel close to midnight, Donna smiling broadly as she closes the door staring at the ring on her finger. She hasn't been able to to take her eyes off it and feels Harvey's amused gaze wash over her as she slips out her phone, texting Rachel to let her know they're in. The women replies almost instantly making Donna chuckle.

 **[Happy birthday sweetie! Surprise in the bedroom, have fun...]**

Confusion twists her mouth as a picture of a Victoria's Secret bag pops up and she grins shaking her head. Harvey's good but her best friend's attention to detail is unsurpassable and she drops the phone back into her purse dropping the bag on the counter. Harvey's suitcase is already sat in the lavish apartment meaning Mike and Rachel must have switched them out and she still can't believe the three of them managed to orchestrate everything without her knowing. A fact Harvey's been sitting on smugly all night and she takes in his smirk moving towards him. "You're pretty impressed with yourself aren't you."

He shrugs, pretending to think about it but figures his ego is entitled to the gloating. "What can I say..." he slides his fingers over her hips tugging her towards him, "you're not exactly an easy person to misdirect."

"And yet you managed." She lifts an eyebrow still hung up on the details. There hasn't been any evidence despite her recent trawling (not so much as an email or bank statement) to corroborate the trip and she's going to have her own fun extracting exactly how he pulled it off.

"I _did_ , didn't I."

He's far too self assured for his own good and she drags her hand over the satin fabric of his tie, probing his gaze for the truth. "You were nervous."

His expression remains impassive, his lips hooking into a smile. There had been moments he thought for sure she was going to catch on but his confidence doesn't waver. "Not for a second."

She bites the inside of her cheek working to loosen the knot around his neck. He might think he can hold out but she knows exactly how to wipe the look of assurance off his face, starting with the gift Rachel left for her. " _Well-_ " she unloops the material letting it hang open over his shirt, "just so happens I have a surprise for _you_."

The teasing note makes him swallow, his composure faltering as her hands glide down resting with a gentle press against the band of his trousers. His ego implores him not to make it easier for her but all that escapes is a strained 'hmmm' as her nails feather back up to his collar.

"Why don't you fix us a drink while I change-" she glances up from beneath her lashes, slipping the tie off completely, " don't get too comfortable."

He wants to ask why she's getting dressed at all but the glint in her eye halts the question and certain areas of his body start getting increasingly _uncomfortable_ , his voice rushing out in a breath, "no chance of that."

She grins bunching the silk fabric between her fingers. "Don't go anywhere."

"No chance of that either..." he mumbles, watching her disappear into the bedroom. He's half tempted to follow but resists the urge finding the minibar instead and taking out two travel size bottles of whiskey. They're not his usual preference but they'll do and he fixes two glasses with ice, picking them up off the counter and _shit_ -

He almost looses his grip when she appears moments later wearing a matching black and peach lingerie set, the lace barely hidden by a flimsy sheer robe.

She approaches slowly, long naked legs leading her forward, and he stays mute as she takes the scotch from his hand knocking it back in one swoop. "I think I owe you a thank you." She clangs the glass on the counter watching his gaze warring with arousal and self-control. He has a habit of always wanting to make sure she's satisfied first and she takes the whiskey from his hand depositing it next to hers with a little more care. Her eyes soften as she brings her hand back sliding it over the lapel of his jacket and slowly edging it off his shoulders, feeling everywhere she can- in-tune to his heavy breathing. He manages to keep his expression composed but his muscles flex under the light touch and when he's free of the constriction she draws back, ignoring his protest when she takes her time finding somewhere to hang it.

She sashays back to him, her amusement faltering when he starts working the buttons of his vest and she gives him a disapproving glare, taking over and slipping the last two out of their holes. "I didn't say you could help." She tugs if off him, impressed when he manages to find some semblance of control.

"You didn't say I couldn't." He lawyers her, eyes darkening as she moves again and to _hell_ with control. He steals the vest from her grasp and tosses it _wherever_ letting his hand slip inside her robe to thumb the peach lace against her hip. It's moulded to her creamy complexion and he has to feel in order to tell where she's exposed but her fingers pushes his wrist down, drawing out a frustrated groan, " _Donna_..."

"Patience." She instructs, focusing on removing his shirt and trying to ignore the hardness brushing her thigh. It makes her fumble with the last few buttons and his smirk causes her hand to slip 'accidentally' cupping him loosely through the front of his trousers. He breathes in sharply and satisfied he won't make the mistake against she resumes her task, startled when he suddenly demands control shrugging out of the shirt and pushing her back into the couch. She hits it with a grin winding her arms around his neck and smiling against his lips. "You lasted longer than I thought you would."

He captures her mouth in retaliation, hands move frantically across her stomach and pinching her hips towards him bringing them flush against each other. He doesn't think he'll ever move passed the insatiable urge to be inside her but forces himself to stop and slow down, burying his head in the crook of her neck. "I can't believe you're letting me marry you."

He nips the skin beneath her ear stalling her laughter and she shivers as his thumb winds into her robe again, skating the front of her panties. For all their short comings over the years sex has never been an area that needed any communication and she arches against him muffling a gasp when he brushes teasingly over where she needs the most pressure. "I can't believe... you didn't ask me the first time we did this."

"I must have been an idiot." He drags his palm up to her bra skimming over the black lace until her nipple hardens peeking through and he squeezes gently, making her squirm for the same attention on the other side. He obliges, dropping his free hand and tracing the edge of her underwear causing her to buck against him. He can already feel her wetness and pushes the fabric aside collecting it with lazy inattentive strokes.

She bites back a groan, the buildup creating a pool of heat between her thighs- and _screw_ her plan. She doesn't give a damn how he got here so long as he keeps moving faster but he stops, suddenly withdrawing his fingers and a disappointed sob claws at her throat.

He smirks and she wants to kill him but loses track of the thought as his hand returns to the outside of her underwear pressing circles and edging closer to clit but never touching it. The sensation is maddening and she sucks in his name hating herself for begging but is rewarded with his thumb finally lands where she needs it, massaging the bundle of pent up nerves through the wet lace.

Her nails claw at his exposed back and he smiles murmuring at the hollow of her neck, "something you need gorgeous?"

He deliberately stills and she lets out a whimper that makes him painfully tight but he doesn't rush, hooking into her panties and nudging his fingers at her entrance. She tenses her breathing becoming more erratic and he sets a frivolous pace alternating between stroking her and slipping inside until she's writhing and panting against him. She begs with another sob and he angles up applying the exact amount of pressure to tip her over the edge, his arms gripping her tightly as he guides her back down with gentle, easy thrusts until she relaxes against him.

His own hardness strains between them but he has no intention of rushing her watching with admiration as she composes herself, gazing up at him with a sultry smile.

"Bedroom."

He grins through his obvious discomfort and she takes his hand leading him into the dimly lit room, deliberately shielding the tie curled up on the bed. Now that he's had his fun it's her turn and she swiftly unbuttons his trousers, arching an eyebrow. "How?"

The pressure around his erection loosens and he exhales sharply, his voice thick with confusion, "how, _what_?"

She drops his underwear and stands back up on her toes, a smirk cresting her mouth as she slips out of the sheer robe. His gaze follows every movement, his pupils dilating with lust, and she pulls him onto the bed sliding up the mattress and collecting the tie on her way. "How did you book you flight without me knowing?"

He hovers above her with a grin, his strong muscles caging her in. "That's for me to know and for you to _never_ find out."

She gleams innocently at the response and palms his chest pushing him onto his back. "Close your eyes." His mouth opens to instantly protest and she closes her legs tighter around his torso with an unashamed pout. "Harvey, it's my birthday."

He glances at the clock on the table, the fluorescent green disputing the fact. It stopped being her birthday seven minutes ago but he doesn't see the harm in appeasing her and follows the instruction, frowning when she lifts his hands up into the air. " _Donna_?" The warning in his curiosity intensifies when he feels something wrap around his wrists and he snaps his eyes open pulling at the restraint. "What are you doing?"

She tightens the tie against the bed-frame crawling her way back down to straddle his waist. "How?"

He tugs again and despite his annoyance arousal fires through his blood at the restriction. He doesn't want to play some damn game he wants to be buried inside her but she seems ambivalent shifting down until her underwear brushes his hard-on and his hips jerk up twice in response.

 _Fuck_ he's not going to last without the use of his hands and tests the knot again letting out a frustration growl.

"Donna, untie me."

She smirks knowing exactly how to manipulate him. "Can't handle it? I thought you prided yourself on being able to control yourself in _any_ situation?" His eyes darken, jaw snapping shut in response and she bites her lip hiding her amusement. She can't count how many times he's bragged about being able to hold out longer in the bedroom and she's going to enjoy watching his ego be his undoing. "You didn't use any cards linking to the company and I still get notifications from your personal account-"

"Which is changing as soon as we get back..." he ginds out, flopping his head back with a resigned sigh, "I used Airline miles."

She sits up feeling his stomach tense beneath her but she ignores the reaction. "You don't fly anywhere?" At least not frequently enough to accumulate that many points but he remains silent and she slides off him slowly, grazing her knuckles along the inside of his thigh, "Harvey?"

He tries to shift away from the contact but has nowhere to go and narrows his gaze, expelling roughly, "I used Robert's... told him I'd reimburse the cost."

She nods, licking her lips as she settles in between his legs. "What about the meeting with McKinnen?" He glances up with a warning look which she flat out ignores, rubbing her thumb and forefinger over his tip to spread the dew escaping. He bucks at the contact and she lets him adjust, easing her way up and down his length. "I helped you set that up weeks ago."

He locks his jaw struggling to focus on what she's asking and not the painful throb she's inducing. "Happened... yesterday."

" _When_?"

"Four-" he bites out, clamping his mouth shut when she speeds up.

She shows no regard for her actions just keeps going, furrowing at the answer. They'd spent an hour prepping for the case before she'd left and she squeezes adding just enough pressure to make him thrust urgently into her hand. "You had trial yesterday."

"Louis did _it-"_ he pulls sharply at the bed frame with a strangled hiss- there's no way in hell he's going to cum thinking about Louis but he's so fucking, goddamn close. " _Donna_ ," he thrusts again with a gasp, "please... I _can't_ -"

She lets go with a satisfied smirk and he swallows a grunt of relief, his breathing ragged as he tries to fight off the waves threatening to crash over him.

Hearing him beg surges her own needs and she gives up on the interrogation, crawling her way over his body and dipping her lips below his ear mirroring his words from earlier. "Something you need gorgeous?"

He chokes back a response, his dick throbbing painfully as she nips his skin and he slams his eyes shut trying to ignore the feeling of her breasts pushed against him.

" _Untie_ me-" he forces it out, half expecting her to ignore the strained demand but she smiles sweetly starting to unravel the knot and the second he's free he flips them so fast the mattress bounces shifting against the wall.

She grins beneath him, wriggling under his hold but he has no intention of letting her go anywhere. "You'd better hope like _hell_ we never own a bed like this."

She laughs at the threat deciding it's probably safer they stick to wooden headboards but the amusement drops from her face when he slides down her body taking her underwear with him. She doesn't even have time to react before he's buried inside her, filling the pulsing ache in her center and she grips the sheets letting out a moan as he starts slowly driving into her. She's amazed by his control now that he's free and she relishes that the great Harvey Specter has a weakness in the bedroom but her own suddenly becomes painfully apparent. She needs him to move faster and moans when he lifts her legs pressing his thumb against her clit.

She arches against him and he snaps, loosing all self-control as he thrusts into her feeling his vision start to tunnel. A guttural sound catches in his throat as he tries to hold on but he can't, cumming so hard he almost doesn't feel her following around him. He collapses next to her, body slick with sweat and breathing heavily as he rolls onto his back.

"That _was_ -"

"Kinky." She supplies with a chuckle, shifting onto her side with a raised eyebrow, "you've never...?"

The surprise hangs between them and he blinks blindly shaking his head. He's had his fun with some light bondage but he's always preferred being the one in control not the other way around. "Tying me up is a waste." He composes himself, flashing her a smug look, "besides, I want to be able to _touch_ my fiancée."

She obliges nudging closer and he wraps an arm around her feeling a combination of jet-lag and exhaustion press his eyes closed. Part of him wants to savour the moment, knowing how his life has a tendency to unravel when things are going well but if there's one things he's sure about it's Donna.

They're in this together for the long haul and he relaxes, letting himself slip slowly into the waiting darkness.


	3. The Worry List

Take me off your worry list, it'll be better that way.

I'm really fine and there's nothing we haven't talked about.

 _ **\- The Worry List, Blue October**_

* * *

Donna wakes in the middle of the night to her phone buzzing, a confused frown pulling her from sleep. It's darker than usual and it takes her a moment to realise they aren't in Harvey's condo, they aren't even in the same _country_ and a smile touches her lips as she recalls the previous day. She can't see the ring but can feel its band on her finger, the weight sparking a surge of happiness until her phone cuts through the silence again.

She works her way out of Harvey's arms ignoring his grumble and tugging down the t-shirt she put on before going to sleep. It's one of his old sweatshirts which she brought thinking he'd be a million miles, not lying in bed beside her, and she smiles again but the content expression falls from her face when she reads her mother's ID calling. She isn't surprised the time difference slipped the women's mind and she pads out into the lounge switching on the light as she passes through.

The glow seeps into the bedroom and Harvey groans into his pillow, expecting her back any second, but her hushed voice carries on a for good few minutes. When the apartment plunges back into silence he shifts again waiting for the sound of movement but the air remains eerily still and he pushes himself up, scrubbing a tired hand over his face and climbing out of the bed. He trudges across the carpet pulling up his slacks to ward off the cold, finding Donna standing by the couch.

The phone is still in her hand and he frowns. "Everything okay?"

She turns, a look he can't decipher etched in her features and he rubs his eyes trying to wake himself up. "Who was that?"

"My Mother." She swallows sharply, blinking back the moisture burning her gaze, "my dad had a stroke, he's in the hospital."

The news quickly sobers Harvey up and he takes the phone from her trembling hand, dropping it on the couch and lightly grasping her shoulders. "How bad is it?"

"They don't know." She wraps an arm around her middle trying to recount the few details she'd been given in the brief conversation. "He still unconscious, they won't know more until he wakes up." _If_ he wakes up. She doesn't voice the thought but can feel a quiet sob building in her chest as she races through worst case scenarios.

Harvey can tell she's fighting to stay in control and breaks his own composure, pulling her against his chest and raking his fingers up through her hair. He's always been shit at comforting people, never sure how to help, and he strays away from false promises focusing on what he can control instead. "I'll call the charter company first thing, we can fly back in the morning."

She nods against immediately feeling guilty and pulls back trying to think beyond the rush of fear, letting her thoughts spill out in a ramble, "you never take holidays you should stay, come back with Rach and Mike... it's just going to be a lot of sitting around in the hospital anyway. Plus my mother's going to be there and you didn't get time to-"

"Donna, _hey._ " He stops her panic, lightly grazing his hand over her shoulder, "forget about the trip it's not important. I want to be wherever you are." She relaxes slightly with the admission and he risks a small smile, "besides you really think I'm leaving you alone with your mother?"

A sound catches in her throat, a mixture of humour and anguish, and she swipes her eyes trying to lean on the banter. "That's not what you said at New Years."

He gently pulls her wrist down, thumbing the moisture sat across her cheeks. "I think this time I can make an exception."

She nods drawing what strength she can from the comfort. It's the not knowing that's the worst. She hadn't even gotten the chance to tell her dad about the engagement and the emotion expands weighing in her chest. "I was going to call him tomorrow, to tell him."

Harvey stiffens, his arms closing around her waist with a light sigh. He wasn't gong to mention the conversation he'd had with Jim, deciding it was best kept between the two men, but hearing the regret in her voice forces it out of him. "He knew."

She frowns glancing up at him. "What?"

"I spoke to him." He admits, blowing a huff of air around his mouth. It hadn't exactly been a fun-filled conversation but he'd wanted to show he respected the man as Donna's father if nothing else. "I told him I was planning to propose, I wanted to try and clear the air first."

" _You_ called my dad." She's still mystified, surprised he was willing to the take the first step and loving him even more for it. Though judging by his tone it hadn't gone to plan and she bites down on her lip nervously. "What did he say?"

He debates lying but knows she'll see straight through it and given the circumstances he'd rather be upfront. "First he called me a selfish asshole... then he said there was no way in _hell_ he was going to let you marry me." It had been an angry first reaction but despite his stubborn refute that the wedding would happen anyway the'd managed to come to a mutual agreement; so long as Donna didn't get hurt, that was all that mattered. He'd sworn on his life he would do anything to keep that from happening and that's how the call had ended. "He sort-of came round. It wasn't quite a blessing but I know he just wants you to be happy Donna, we _both_ do."

She feels moisture sting her gaze again and lifts her hands to chest, genuinely grateful for the truth. It can't have been easy for him to swallow his pride but knowing her dad was okay with the wedding makes the situation easier to handle. "I love you, you know that."

He smiles lightly. "I had an idea." Her lips curve in response and he slips his hand from around her waist gently gripping her fingers, "come on, we should try and get a couple of hours sleep."

She doubts it will possible but follows him anyway taking in a steadying breath. Her dad's one of the most stubborn people she knows, she just hopes he doesn't take a turn for the worse while they're making their way back.

.｡o - o｡..

* * *

They arrive in New York, the long haul flight taking around eight hours, and go straight to the hospital where Donna finds her Mother flustering because there's been no news. The panic surprises her. After their divorce several years ago her parents started living completely separate lives and her mother isn't known for having a compassionate streak, only a dramatic flare, but Donna does her best to comfort her. When it eventually starts to take its toll and she falls back to reason, suggesting the women go home and they approach the waiting in shifts. Donna's relieved when she agrees calling whichever flavor of the month boyfriend she's seeing to come pick her up.

It's not a bad thing- just who her mother is and she takes refuge in the silence, the only sound coming from Harvey dozing beside her. He's never handled jet lag well but his steady breathing is a comfort and she leans back with a sigh. The fact he spoke to her father tightens in her chest the emotion driving through her in a wave. The pair have always had a tremulous relationship, both stubborn and refusing to bend but since she and Harvey started dating they've managed to be civil to one and another. She hoped the engagement would bring them closer together, alleviate some of her father's worries about Harvey's previous commitment issues but more than that she just wants to tell her dad she's happy. To have him walk her down the isle and after the reception make fun of her mother's ridiculous choice of hat or the younger man with too much fake tan attached to her arm. She wants him to be around for everything; holidays, advice, maybe even grand-kids one day and she quickly wipes her eyes when Harvey stirs beside her.

He takes a minute, blinking at the white walls and straightening in the uncomfortable chair with a groggy voice. "Any news?"

She shakes her head in sudden need of a break and a caffeine hit. "I'm going to get a coffee, you want anything?"

He works the kink in his shoulder letting his gaze wash over her. She looks pale, utterly exhausted and the last thing she needs is more stimulants but he knows arguing is pointless and tries reasoning instead, "the doctor said he'd call if there's any change. Why don't we go home and get some food, grab a shower-"

"I'm _not_ leaving." It comes out harsher than she intends and she pushes up faltering when a high pitch ring proceeds a rush of dizziness. Her body drops back like a led weight into the chair and she scrubs her face wincing when Harvey catches her wrist feeling the fast flutter of her pulse.

"It's _nothing_ -" she tries to shrug him off, "I stood up too fast, that's all."

He breathes out a slow exhale moving the hair back from her clammy skin. It's not nothing. She's barely slept since London, hasn't eaten anything since they arrived and he drops his hand with a pointed look. "What's Jim's going to say if he sees you like this?"

She flinches knowing he's right. Not only that but her dad would probably blame Harvey for not dragging her home and she blinks through the dizziness lifting her gaze up to the ceiling. "I just hate the thought of him being here alone."

He can see the internal war she's struggling with and instantly softens his features. "Why don't I stay. I can get Ray to drive you home."

"I can't ask you to do that." It wouldn't be fair. He's just as exhausted as she is but he ignores the protest pulling out his phone despite her hesitation.

"You're not..." he assures reaching out to squeezer her hand, "just promise me you'll try and get some rest."

She nods and lifts her fingers gliding them over the rough stubble on his jawline. There's no annoyance in his face, only tired concern, and she presses her lips to his mouth thanking him.

He relaxes under the warmth of the kiss and pulls back to ring Ray, feeling more relieved than anything. He's managed to get enough sleep and can handle sticking it out a bit longer but she needs the break and he makes the arrangements, promising to call her if there's any change.

It's eerily quiet when she leaves and he rests his head on his palm trying to catch up with the whirlwind of turns in the last forty-eight hours. He can only imagine how Donna's feeling and presses his eyes shut thinking about his own father. There hadn't been any hospital visits or waiting around. Donna had delivered the news and that was it- he hadn't talked about it or asked for her support but knows if he had she would have given it.

A sight works from his mouth as the emotion washes over him but it's pointless dwelling on his own grief and he shoves it down, not even realising he's fallen asleep until a firm grip startles him awake.

"Mr. Specter... " the Doctor addresses him withdrawing his hand, "Mr. Paulsen is awake."

Harvey sits up straighter trying to shake the fog that's set-in. He'd met the physician while Donna and her mother were still here and he regards the young man with a concerned look, "how's he doing?"

"Mr. Paulsen's initial tests have shown a positive response. He's lucid and talking, no immediate signs of cognitive damage. His left side has shown some nerve damage to the muscle tissue but with rehabilitation he should regain most of his motor functions."

Harvey nods, knowing it isn't a worst cast scenario and exhaling slowly, "can I see him?"

The Doctor looks hesitant and he sits forward sliding his palms over the length of his slacks. "Only a few minutes, my girl... _fiancée_ -" he corrects, hoping it will hold more weight, "didn't want him waking up alone."

"A few minutes."

The sympathetic smile is confirmation, and Harvey stands kneading the tired ache in his muscles. He's looking forward to finally getting some sleep in a real bed and even though it's only been a couple of hours he calls Donna on the way through, not sure whether to feel relived or guilty when he wakes her up. She's insistent on coming down and tells her he'll meet her out front after he stops in to check on her father.

The ward is dimly lit and the Doctor goes in first while he waits outside. It only takes a moment before he's ushered in, swallowing roughly as the physician leaves to give them some privacy and he clears his throat. He feels awkard standing but doesn't want to interfere with the various tubes and machinery, and shoves his hands into his pockets.

"Come to see if I'd... kicked the bucket?"

The older man breaks first and Harvey inwardly flinches, keeping his expression void of any discomfort. "Checking on your sense of humour."

Jim sighs, finding the strength to roll his eyes at the remark. Harvey was the last person he was expecting and he glances over the man's shoulder for a flash of red, surprised that there's no sign of his daughter. "Where's Donna?"

"She went home to get some rest." He doesn't elaborate, doesn't see the need but Jim must read something in his face because the man tries to shift himself up with a cough.

"Why don't I... believe that?"

Harvey shrugs feigning ignorance but the man's glare urges a response and he tilts his head, "because she's _your_ daughter and she's stubborn."

He reads in-between the lines and despite his dislike for the lawyer lets the comment slide. He may not be singing Harvey's praises anytime soon (truth is he finds the man stand-offish and arrogant) but Donna sees something in him and Harvey's intentions _seem_ to be honourable towards her. "She gets that from her mother."

Harvey's mouth lifts in a forced smile. If roles were reversed he wouldn't want someone he felt threatened by witnessing the weakened state and he digs out a hand motioning it toward the door. "I should go wait for her, just wanted to let you know someone was here."

He starts to leave and Jim furrows his brow fighting through the pain meds to take stock of the situation. He can understand his ex-wife being absent, even his daughter, but he can't place why the lawyer is still here- unless there's some sort of legal matter that needs attending to.

" _Harvey..."_ he clears his throat wincing at the strain, "what are you _really_ doing here?"

There's accusation to the tone and he answers the only way he can, with the truth. "Donna didn't want you to be alone."

It falls heavily between them but Jim doesn't push it, letting the man leave with the simple admission. Harvey Specter might be a selfish ass and the world would seemingly agree but every now and then there are flashes of something else, usually pertaining to Donna, and he's grateful for that if nothing else. He just wants what's best for his daughter and in the event his health takes a turn for the worse, to know she's being looked after.

He wouldn't have picked Harvey for the job but Donna did and that's just something he has to accept.

Whether he likes it or not.


	4. Jump Rope

Up down when it gets hard remember life's like a jump rope

 **\- Jump Rope, Blue October**

* * *

" _Fuck_."

Harvey brings his fist down on the side of the basin taking in a deep breath and staring at his reflection in the mirror. He can feel heat building under the button of his collar, mummers from the courtroom filling the small space and he loosens his tie trying to get a handle on the panic creeping in.

The entire case with Malik was a fucking white-wash. The son of bitch wanted him to go to trial knowing full well he'd be blindsided and Harvey whips the faucet splashing water on his face. Since he got back from London the entire firm has been a shit show and _why,_ because he and Donna deemed to take a vacation.

He breathes in again trying to quell the rising nausea and anger- not a holiday.

He'd gone straight back to work after their trip was cut short but Donna had taken compassionate leave to help take care of her father. He isn't mad about about the reason -he's not that much of dick- only the timing. In fact he was the one who _insisted_ she fly out to Connecticut for two weeks not realising how quickly everything would spiral without her. She came back yesterday to Robert out with pneumonia, their billables under target, one of their major clients under investigation for embezzlement, and to top it off he just lost in court to fucking Malik.

First thing he's going to do when he steps inside the building is fire whichever associate did the research and then he's going to fire Alex for palming it off. He might even fire the goddamn security staff for letting him leave the god damn fucking building this morning and while he's at _it_ -

The door suddenly swings open and he startles, blinking back the dizziness hazing the edge of his vision.

Andrew Malik causally waltzes in and he straightens squaring his shoulders. Now isn't the time to lose his shit and he turns off the water, flinching when the lawyer stops by the basin.

"Harvey." Andrew greets, showing his pearly white teeth through a smug smile.

"Don't." He warns reaching for the towel to wipe his hands. It's hardly a threat, he lost plain and simple but he refuses to stand around and be baited by the pompous, arrogant prick.

The reaction doesn't deter him, if anything it just makes the whole thing more humorous. "I just wanted to say no hard feelings." He extends his arm with an expectant, self-satisfied smirk. He's waited his hole career to see the great Harvey Specter fall flat on his face in court and to be the one who instigated is just crowns the accomplishment.

"Go to hell." Harvey ignores the outstretched hand shoving passed but Malik's voice stops him at the door.

"I hear congratulations are in order..." Andrew flexes his jaw, the amusement dropping from his expression, "you and Miss Paulsen, engaged. Not that anyone around here was surprised." The comment has the desired affect causing Harvey to tense and he gives an indifferent shrug, "although it did raise some interesting questions, what exactly _is_ her job description again?"

Harvey turns sharply at the insinuation keeping the distance between with a tight glare. There's a world of shit waiting for him if he engages but he can feel the anger rip through him and his voices pulls into a low growl, "her _position_ is COO and she's damn good at her job so how about you show a little fucking respect."

Andrew scoffs, a bitter sound curling in his throat, "oh I bet she's good, legs like _that_."

"You son of a bitch!"

Harvey starts back at him, stopping when Malik's hands fly up in defence. "Careful Harvey-" he cautions with a smug smile, "wouldn't want that emotion clouding your judgement in trial, _future_ ones I mean... people will think you've gone soft."

It takes every ounce of his control not to punch the asshole out and the only reason he doesn't is because it's the last thing Donna's needs with everything she's going though.

"Stay away from her." Harvey instils the warning with a glare turning on his heel, Malik's words following him out.

"You know what they say about weaknesses Harvey, they exist to be exploited!"

He barely makes it around the corner before his fist pummels the nearest wall, stirring a handful of surprised gasps and he quickly withdraws it ignoring the pain burning through his knuckles. Malik can rot in hell and anyone else who has something to say about his engagement can fucking join him.

.｡o - o｡..

* * *

By the time Harvey gets back to the firm his mood is no better and after ripping Alex a new one the rest of the office knows better than to approach him. Even Cameron found something to do other than be at his desk, something Harvey's grateful for until it pisses him off. The two settlements he's been trying to focus on are a mess and he slams down the lid of his laptop, picking up the draft proposals to make the damn copies himself.

He's not even in the filing room five minutes when the door opens, closing with a soft click and he breathes out against the photocopier with a sigh, "not now Donna."

She considers leaving but starts a careful approach, her gaze falling to where his bruised knuckles are hooked over the paper tray. "Harvey, what happened?" He tenses at the question and she stops, leaving a respectable space between them waiting for his answer.

"What, you didn't hear?" He spits out more harshly than intended, "I lost the Roache case to Malik."

That much she knows. It had spread like wildfire around the office before the judge had even made the ruling but she doesn't give a damn about gossip. Alex had prepped him, it should have been an open and shut case and she doesn't understand what went wrong. "Was it Malik, did _he_ -"

"No." He preempts her with a sharp shake of his head. It wouldn't be the first time the prick had forged documents but this time it came down to one simple fact; Malik had information he didn't. "We missed something in the bylaw. It was right there in the fine print and I didn't see it."

She can read the guilt in his expression and her own features soften in response.

"Alex had the same document. If he didn't pick it either up either then it wasn't your fault." She knows it won't mean much. Regardless of how prepared he was, not being able to argue his way out is the real issue and she startles at his burst of frustration.

"Screw Alex, it was _my_ case-" he slaps the draft proposal down, feeling his anger tip at the stuck together pages, "and where the _hell_ is the damn staple remover."

She flinches regretting there isn't more she can do. It's just something he and the firm are going to have to wear and she risks brushing his arm, "why don't you let me do that?"

He instantly wants to recoil from the touch, Malik's words stabbing through him, but he holds still against the copier breathing out slowly, "it's _fine_. I'm sure you have more important things to be doing."

"Harvey-"

" _Donna_ , just leave it." Her hand falls away with a hurt look but he can't find the words to apologise and a heavy silence settles between them as she reaches, fishing for something hidden in the side tray. He tenses when she drops the staple remover on top of the machine and leaves without another word.

Donna closes the door behind her, leaning against it and warning off Samantha's approach. "I wouldn't.'

The blonde sums up the look on Donna's face dropping the folder in her hands. "Is he making copies?"

"Yep." The word pops between her lips, the answer hanging between them. Harvey Specter doesn't do his own administration not unless something is seriously wrong and Samantha's face falls in understanding.

"Shit, it was really that bad?"

"Worse." Donna confirms, wishing there was a way to brush the severity under the carpet but losing to Malik isn't just personal it's a hit to the firm and she pushes off the door deciding she needs a drink. Whiskey would be preferable but coffee is more appropriate for the time of day and she starts toward the partner's kitchen.

With the copy room off limits Samantha falls in step beside the redhead digging for more details. "He tell you what happened?"

She thinks about manipulating the truth, try to make it sound less obvious but it's going to come out eventually and honestly she could use the blonde's help to put out fires before they gain momentum. "There was a clause missed in the bylaws."

"Fuck." It's a rookie mistake. Something Alex should have picked up and Harvey _definitely_ shouldn't have missed but neither man infallible (no matter how much they think otherwise). Mistakes happen... albeit rarely when it comes to their team. "Does Robert know?"

Donna shakes her head. "Not yet. I called the hospital but he was asleep." She swings into the small gallery, making a beeline toward the coffee maker with Samantha close behind. The named partner could be six-feet under and the news would tear him up from the ground which means she's going to have to come up with a delivery that won't cause him any additional stress. "You know him better than I do-" she turns with a half shrug, "how do we play this?"

"Get in before Harvey for a start." It's a given and she squares her shoulders considering their options. "Be straight... but tell him I looked it over as well, that Alex was going to give it to me first."

Donna brings a mug down to the counter hesitating slightly. If Robert thinks Samantha is involved he's less likely to single out Harvey but it's a big ask and Donna tilts her head questioningly. "Are you sure?"

She shrugs, prepared to wear the anger for a few days if it means benefiting Roberts recovery in the long run. "Harvey can owe me one when his ego re-inflates."

Donna smiles lightly, genuinely appreciative. She doubts Harvey will see it that way but once he get's over his wallowing hopefully he'll be able to reflect and repay the gesture. In the meantime she give the women gratitude for both of them. "Thank you Samantha."

She nods but is quick to brush it off. It's just as much for her benefit. They all need to be firing on full cylinders and she digs out a cup relieved the redhead is back to pick up the slack where it's fallen down. "How's your dad doing?"

Donna slides her mug under the nozzle choosing the sweetest, sickliest looking option on the menu; something between a coffee and hot chocolate with added sugar. "It's going to be a slow recovery but he's stubborn." It's a plus, at least in this instance and she curves her lips reassuringly, "the Doctor's think he'll be back walking again within a few months."

"In time for the wedding?" She prods, knowing the news has fallen by the wayside with everything else going on but she's happy for the two of them. God knows Harvey needs someone to keep him in-line outside of the firm as well as in it.

"We haven't even discussed a date yet." Donna admits, taking her drink and moving aside so the blonde can use the machine. With her dads health the way it is she'd rather do it sooner than later but given the stress they're all under at the moment it's hardly the right time to be planning a wedding.

Samantha senses the tone and chooses the expresso option with a light smile. "If you need help organising, I can give you a hand."

It comes somewhat out of the blue Donna eyes her suspiciously. "You're serious?"

She shrugs. "Sure, why not?"

There are several reasons that come to mind and Donna's lips twitch with amusement, "because it's a wedding not a firing squad."

A laugh works out of Samantha's throat as she draws back her mug. The redhead's right, it's not really her thing but it would be a good chance to lift morale particularly if there's alcohol involved. "What about Katrina? She looks like the kind of person who's been keeping a scrapbook under her bed since she was six years old."

Donna reads the teasing flash in the blonde's gaze and brings her coffee to her mouth blowing on the steam. "You want to get drunk and make fun of bridal magazines don't you?"

" _God_ yes." She grins over her drink, "do you know how ridiculous those things are."

Donna breathes in a chuckle shaking her head. It might not be the exact right motivation but she'll take the help where she can get it. "Okay you're on."

She moves to leave and Samantha leans back against the counter with a more serious expression. "You want me to speak to Harvey? "

Donna shrugs, raising a candid eyebrow. "It's your funeral."

.｡o - o｡..

* * *

Samantha does Harvey the courtesy of waiting for everyone to leave before she taps on his glass door with a confident knock. She isn't one for pussy-footing around and certainly isn't intimated by the closer's mood, her voice ringing out clearly across the small space. "You got a sec?"

He glances up switching his gaze from his phone to the blonde. "Now's not a good time. I need to call Robert."

"Yeah, about that... Donna and I already spoke to him, he's good." She enters despite his protest, watching his eyes flash with frustration as she approaches his desk.

"I didn't ask you to do that."

She drops down in his guest chair shrugging her shoulders. If he was actually going to call Robert he would have done it hours ago, not left it to near nine, and she fans her hand across the armrest crossing her legs. "I think the words you're looking for are thank you."

He takes in her relaxed posture with an irritated sigh. It's not a pity party and he locks his jaw firmly, "I don't need a pep talk, Samantha."

Sarcasm baits her response and she raises a quick eyebrow. "Then excuse me while I go burn my _fucking_ pom-pops." The expletive get's his attention and she settles back, her own annoyance flaring, "you screwed us, you _should_ be beating yourself up."

The words are hardly encouraging and he throws his pen on the desk in a huff, "are you shitting me with this?"

Hardly. She's being blunt because like it or not, it doesn't matter whose fault it is... the mistake is on all of them. What they need to do is focus on regrouping and finding the best way to move forward. "Take the lesson, learn from it and get over it. Don't let this trip you up on anything else."

Annoyingly it's sound advice but easier to dish out than to take and he firms his grip around the pen again. "That all?"

"No." She affirms though this time it's good news. "The settlement came in for the Donahue case while you were at trial. You got them three times what they should have been paid."

Like it fucking matters, he thinks, blowing air into his cheeks. "They were a Pro Bono client."

"It was a win." She reminds him, pushing herself up from the chair. Donna was right. He isn't in the right frame of mood to be taking any advice but she's hoping he'll at least take some of it on-board. If not, it's going to be a hell of fight picking the firm back up off the ground- and she has no intention of doing it on her own.


	5. How to Dance in Time

Can we go back to when we both knew how to dance in time.

 **\- How to Dance in Time, Blue October**

* * *

Katrina hovers over the sofa where Donna and Samantha are sat, dumping a large flip-book and several piles of magazine in front of the two women. They came to the unanimous decision that Harvey's office was the best place to congregate and she seats herself on the recliner with a broad grin. "So, where do we start?"

Samantha picks up her wine glass sharing a look with Donna and muttering under her breathe, "...told you."

Donna stifles a laugh reaching for the bottle of red and motioning it in Katrina's direction.

She doesn't mention that at the rate she and Harvey are going there might not even be a wedding. They fight, it's not uncommon particularly when things are stressful, but it's his unusual silence that's creating a strain between them. Ever since he lost to Malik he's been distant and she know's there's more going on than just his pride taking a hit, but she pushes the thought from her mind knowing exactly where to start. "With alcohol."

"I meant hair, dress, venue, date? There's a whole word of options Katrina's ready to dive into and she rolls her eyes at the two perplexed expressions staring back at her. "Fine let's start with the date."

It's an easy enough question but it feels like there's a lot weighing on it that Donna needs to consider. Given her father's health she'd prefer to bump it up but the firm is under a lot of strain and she doesn't want to compound that either. "I was thinking august."

Katrina nearly spits out her drink at the suggestion. "You do realise that's only two months away?'

"I've done a lot more in a lot less, trust me." She cant help sounding smug as she draws a sip of her own wine, recalling the lengths she went to organising Rachel and Mike's wedding. Fortunately the pair knew exactly what they wanted but honestly, after a stream of unsuccessful relationships, she'd pretty much given up on the idea of getting married. Now she's finally with the man she wants to marry she owes it to her younger self to put more effort in but it floundering. Luckily Samantha was right, if anyone can get the ball rolling it's the young, ambitious lawyer who already seems two steps ahead.

"Okay, so weekend or weekday? Katrina replaces her glass with a pen and paper, still uneasy with the time-frame but determined to make it happen regardless.

"Who has a wedding on a weekday?" Samantha throws the question out there, slightly confused by the prospect. In fairness she hasn't attended many nuptials preferring to send congratulation gifts instead but Donna quickly reinforces the fact it's a bad idea,

"People who hate their friends." She insists, not understanding why anyone would subject their guests to a monstrous hangover on a day they couldn't just stay home and quietly die in peace.

Katrina jots down 'weekend' as a preference leading them with the most logical details first. "How many people, family, friends, clients?

"You could have The Bull be your celebrant." Samantha grins over her drink watching the redhead blanch at the idea of the boisterous Texan being involved and she quickly regrets the suggestion when Donna gleams back at her.

"Stop it... or I'll pair him up as your groomsman."

Katrina glances between the amused pair tapping her pen against her pad with a huff, " _hey_ , two months here people."

Donna straightens in accordance with the tone, trying to give the question some actual consideration. Between her and Harvey they know half of Manhattan but that doesn't mean they want every man and his dog attending the wedding. She's sure he'd much rather keep it low-key to avoid drawing too much attention and aims for a ball park figure. "Family and friends, maybe a few close clients. Let's say a hundred and fifty."

Katrina jots it down at the top of the page steering them to the next topic. "Okay, venue. Indoors or outdoors?

"Indoors." Samantha fields the question motion to Donna's Louis Vuitton's, "you don't want your heels sinking into the grass at the ceremony."

It's actually a good point and Donna quickly agrees. "Definitely indoors." Never mind the outfit it's all about the shoes and when Samantha raises her glass she motions back with a cheers. Truth is she hasnt thought much about location either. When she was young she'd dreamed of something obnoxious and flashy but now all she cares about is designing something intimate that both she and Harvey can enjoy... and looking _fucking_ fabulous, that one is a given. "Okay, dresses next."

"But we haven't-" Katrina stops at the look on Samantha's face and she reluctantly concedes handing them each several magazine to look at. "So there's long-sleeve, strapless, spaghetti straps... white, ivory or beige and then we have lace, satin or sequins."

Donna sets down her empty glass, placing the stack on her lap and meeting Samantha's unimpressed look with a smirk."This was _your_ idea."

"No _this_ was my idea-" she motions to the three bottles of wine on the table, taking the liberty of refilling each of their glasses. Donna picks hers up immediately and Samantha quirks and eyebrow, "so come on spill, is he as good in bed as he thinks he is?"

Donna almost chokes on her drink wiping her lip and after a moment of careful consideration gives in, tilting her head to the side with a pronounced look that Samantha takes it to mean he _is_. "Worst habit around the house?" She probes further, taking the opportunity to satisfy her curiosity.

"He's anally retentive." That one is easy, Donna thinks, hiding a smirk. The man had a closest installed so she wouldn't interfere with his things and though he's eased up since they moved in together he's still one of best kept men she's been with. "We once had to stop halfway _through..._ " she motions the innuendo with a wave of her wrist, "because he couldn't stand my silk dress being on the floor."

Samantha bites back a laugh, picturing it -without _too_ much detail- as she starts flipping through the pages on her lap, surprised when Katrina jumps in with the next hot and heavy question.

"Have you done it here?"

Donna flushes, eyeing the recliner the blonde is sat in with a guarded smile. They try to keep their extra curricular activities _out_ of the office but sometimes they can't help relieving a little stress, particularly if they're in for a late night.

Samantha reads the look immediately and downs a large gulp of wine, wincing at the thought, "oh _god_ , we're sitting on a sperm bank aren't we?"

Despite her embarrassment a laugh coils it's way out of Donna's throat, her mind subconsciously racing through all the surfaces they've 're-focused' themselves on. "You really want to know?"

Samantha challenges her, eyes daring, and Donna grins flicking her wrist up to whisper the details in Samantha's ear.

The lawyer's gaze widens slightly before narrowing suspiciously. "Open or closed?"

Donna's lips twitch with amusement. "Open."

"Horizontal?"

"Nope." She shakes her head.

Samantha stares at her with a perplexed look, "but he couldn't-"

"He did." Donna grins widely watching the other women concede to the fact it _did_ happen and they _definitely_ made it work.

"Holy shit." The curse falls out over Samantha's glass, "I need to start doing yoga."

"Okay, that is not fair-" Katrina pouts at the innuendo flying over her head, "it was my question."

"And _yes_ , is the answer." Donna teases, her attention returning to the magazine in front of her. She isn't all that surprised by the interest in their sexual escapades. Harvey is a closed book to most people but she doesn't want to give away all his secrets and stops on the first dress that catches her eye. It's beige not white (probably good- she's not exactly virginal), strapless with beading and sequins worked into the bodice and a straight skirt with a side split up the leg. Her love for the design makes the whole thing suddenly seem more real and she glances up when Katrina shoves a handful of sticky tabs under her nose.

"Like it, tag it. We have five different colours so you can categorise different parts that you like.

"Samantha groans next to Donna and Katrina smiles broadly. "Buckle in ladies... we are in for a long night!"

.｡o - o｡..

* * *

Harvey stands in the kitchen distractedly stirring a saucepan of milk, his grip on the wooden-spoon faltering when he hears a stumble and clang against the door. It's passed midnight and he exhales a slow breath of relief as Donna's key turns in the lock. He'd never begrudge her a night out but the tension brewing between has made him more restless than usual and he turns off the hob, lifting the pot onto the stone slab to cool down.

The sound of her kicking off her shoes echoes through the small space and his mouth lifts slightly when she rounds the corner. "Looks like someone had a good night."

She jumps, surprised to see him still up and flops her purse on the counter meeting his tight smile. "Katrina is a drill sergeant," she pulls her hair over her shoulder with a smirk, "better watch out, she's going to be giving you a run for your money one of these days."

It's meant as a joke but he tenses, Malik's words about him going soft ringing in his ears. It shouldn't still be bothering him but he's had a shitty day negotiating and all he wants to do is forget about work.

She watches him bring down a mug, the silence stretching between and she knows it was the wrong thing to say. Since he lost in court he's been second guessing himself at every turn and she stretches her fingers over the laminate surface softening her tone. "You okay?"

The concern presses him but he's only half paying attention, the impending fear that he's going to miss something and tank the settlement circling back around. He can't forget it because his brain won't switch off but she's clearly expecting an answer and he gives her a half-hearted shrug. "Fine, just had a rough day."

She knows there's more to it. The stress has been mounting up since she was in Connecticut and despite his protest she shouldn't worry, that he can handle it, the pressure is obviously starting to take its toll. He looks exhausted and she moves in fluttering her hand against his arm, " _hey_... I'm back now, whatever's wrong you can talk to me about it."

He shakes himself, shying away from the temptation. Telling her about his sudden crisis of confidence will inadvertently lead to her finding out about Malik, how the prick basically accused her of sleeping her way into COO and then used the accusation as a threat. She might be back home but with Jim still recovering it's the last thing she needs to hear and he reaches for the pot, changing the subject. "How did the planning go?"

She sighs at the dismissal but it seems like a genuine attempt to ease the strain between them and she gives in, leaning beside him. "Well at this point we're getting married in a bouncy castle, I'm wearing something from Target and The Bull might end up being our celebrant." It's an attempt to get some sort of rise but his forced smile doesn't offer anything. He just quietly fills his mug to the brim and she presses her eyes shut in frustration. " _Harvey_ -"

"Donna, I don't want to talk about it." He leans over the sink switching on the tap to rinse out the saucepan. It mightn't be fair but he's trying protect her and guilt knots in his throat when she relents, gently nudging her fingertips into his shoulder.

"Okay." She agrees, feeling him relax slightly under the light touch. She's known him long enough to read when she shouldn't push and tries an amicable truce instead. "I'm going to go take a shower, you want to join me?"

"I think I'm just going to crash." His voice is softer but there's still an air of tension as she nods pulling away from him. He doesn't try to fix it or stop her. Right now he needs to focus on tomorrow, getting his goddamn mergers in line and keeping both their reputations from taking anymore hits.

Once he has that control back the rest will fall into place.


	6. Sound of Pulling Heaven Down

I'm reaching farther than I ever have before.

 **\- Sound of Pulling Heaven Down, Blue October**

* * *

Donna glances through the door to Harvey's office, taking in a deep breath as she pushes forward. He'd gone for a run before she was up this morning and she'd left before he'd gotten back, the air still awkward when he'd ducked his head into her office on his way passed. Still, he'd made the effort and Robert had specifically requested she oversee the handling of their next case. She knows Harvey isn't going to like it, the fact he doesn't even glance up reaffirming the fact he's busy, but it's a favour for Judge Morrison. The two of them and she slides the brief onto his desk drumming her fingers over the folder. "You've got a Pro Bono."

He stiffens but doesn't stop typing. "Not today I don't."

The dismissal is firm and she folds her arms declaring her stance. He might be stubborn but she can be just as persistent and the case is important. "You haven't even looked at." She protests, tapping her foot against the carpet and waiting for a proper acknowledgement.

" _Because_ Donna, I don't have time to take on any more new cases." He shoots back, breathing out a sigh. The firm is swamped as it is and they're long passed the days Mike could swan in with his puppy-dog eyes waving some sob story. He needs to focus on more important things not some charity bullshit.

"I know you're swamped _but_ -"

"What part of _no_ are you not getting-" he snaps, fingers stalling over the keyboard. He should apologise for the outburst but _she_ should understand better than anyone that they can't afford to be wasting resources right now. It's something he shouldn't have to explain and he swallows the rush of guilt shifting his attention back to the case notes on his screen.

She bristles at his tone and the clear lack of interest, stealing the folder back off the desk. She has absolutely no intention of babying him. Until he's ready to talk to her like an actual adult she's done pandering and leaves swinging her hips with a determined gait, making her way to Alex's office.

After explaining the situation the lawyer is more than happy to make up for his part in the Roache trial, agreeing to her unusual request.

" _Donna_?"

He stops her before she gets to the door and she turns back around with a curious look.

"This is going to piss Harvey off isn't it?" He asks, voicing the suspicion. The instruction is to sit on it, send a couple of emails and basically wait until Harvey get's word before actually doing anything and he isn't opposed but he is confused.

She nods, knowing exactly how her fiance's going to react when he realises it's a favour for Morrison. He's going to be livid but if he'd wanted easy he should have listened to her in the first place. "You okay with that?"

Alex sits back in his chair, gaze washing over the redhead. He rarely questions her approach, rarely needs to, but if he's going to be wearing the brunt of Harvey's anger again he'd like to know her motivation. "You really want to piss him off right now?"

She considers the alternatives but none will get the message across in the same way and she squares her shoulders with assurance. "I want him to realise this firm isn't the enemy." They need to be working together not pulling away from each other and right now Harvey's head is anywhere but in the game, something they need to change.

Alex respects the honesty and he gets it. Things have been tense for weeks now but he gets a sense there's more going on than just Harvey being in a bad mood and his intrigue mixes with genuine concern. When the pair of them first started dating he wouldn't have dared ask any questions but they're closer now and he sits forward in his chair angling his head. "Is everything okay between the two of you?"

"We're fine." She forces a smile because truthfully she isn't sure but she's holding onto the hope it will be.

.｡o - o｡..

"What the _hell_ Donna?"

She hears Harvey before she sees him and steels herself as he pushes into the office. He figured it out more quickly than she thought he would but she plays the innocent act, keeping her back straight and her face composed. "Is this about Sheffield or Ducati?"

"You know damn well what it's about." He stares her down not fooled by the blank expression she's wearing. A year ago he might have had doubts but they've been living together _intimately_ , co-inhabiting for almost twelve months and he's learned to read when he's being played. "It's about _you_ going to Alex behind my back."

"I didn't got behind your back." She defends, in no way willing to bend to the accusation.

He stiffens at the stubborn set of her jaw wondering if she's deliberately trying to piss him off. Two hours ago and he'd explicitly told her they weren't taking the case and yet he'd just seen an email flash across his screen to the contrary. "I said we didn't have time to take it on."

"No-" she jumps in with a firm look, "you said _you_ didn't have time."

His eyes widened with annoyance, amazed that she would even try to argue the point. They're not at trial, this isn't a court house and pleading the fifth wouldn't work even if it was. "You knew exactly what I meant."

She did but that's hardly the point. If he'd read the email from Alex he would know why they'd taken on the Pro Bono and if hasn't, which is clearly the case, then she's more than happy to dislodge the stick currently riding up his ass. "If you have a problem with this then speak to Robert. He's the one specifically who requested we deal with this, so I'm sorry if you were too busy but he told me to handle it."

The information knocks the wind out of his sails but it quickly bolsters back up. If she's spoken to Robert then that should have been the first thing out her mouth. "You didn't _think_ to tell me that earlier?"

"When Harvey?" She snaps back, pushing up from her chair to stand at his height. She knew he'd be pissed but she has more right to the anger. She'd tried to tell him and he'd shut her down the minute he'd heard it was a lo-file case, just like he's been shutting her out since she got back from Connecticut and she's tired of it. "You didn't give me a chance to explain and honestly I would have expected you to, regardless of where the request came from."

"Why, because we're _sleeping_ together?" The second it's out he regrets it, the flash in her gaze making him want to instantly recoil but Malik is in his goddamn head again making everything feel personal. She's right. He should have taken the time to listen but she cuts him off with a glare before he can admit it.

" _Because_ its the charity that Anthony Morrison supports." She throws back it him, watching the recognition dawn on his face.

"Shit." All thoughts of an apology vanish at the mention of the judge. They've both helped each other out with favours, he'd even consider them friends, and his eyes fall across the desk narrowing with confusion. "Why didn't he just come straight to me?"

She stares at him with a pointed flat voice. "You were in London." They both were and Anthony had reached to Robert but after the name'd partner had contracted pneumonia the case had been pushed to the bottom of the pile. Otherwise she's sure it would have gone straight to Harvey.

"Forget it."

He turns on his heel and her hands fly to her hips in response. "Where are you going?"

"To take my goddamn case back." He storms out and she feels her anger leave in a rush replaced with defeated exhaustion. It's the reaction she was expecting but not the outcome she was hoping for and the fact he'd thrown their relationship into the mix puts her even more on edge.

She can't place what's going on with him and it's beyond frustrating but more than that, it's actually starting to scare her.

.｡o - o｡..

* * *

 **AN:** This one is just a short one, saving it all up for the next chapter... enter drunk Harvey and Scottie, cause why not throw all the angst in the mix ;)


	7. Into the Ocean

I'm just a normal boy that sank when I fell overboard.

My ship would leave the country but I'd rather swim ashore

 _ **\- Into the Ocean, Blue October**_

* * *

Harvey works the knot in his neck exhaling roughly at the small notebook on his desk. By the time he'd gotten home last night he'd walked in to find a pillow and blanket waiting for him on the couch and he suspects when he leaves in an hour it'll be the same thing.

Part him is almost relieved and the larger part hates himself for it.

 _Weak_.

That's what Malik accused him of being - maybe the asshole's right.

Anger pulses through him when a subtle cough snaps his attention to the door and surprise washes over him but he manages to keep his expression impassive, his mouth opening of its own accord,"I don't recall inviting you up."

Scottie doesn't flinch at the abrasiveness. She's knows the man a long time and shrugs her shoulders. "You didn't. I had a case." It's the truth but she doesn't tell him she requested it. When the news of him getting engaged reached her it was too tempting an opportunity to pass up and she invites herself inside the office, stopping to lean on one of his guest chairs. "I heard you were getting married, thanks for the heads up."

He doesn't quite wince but there's a brief second of hesitation in his expression. Was he supposed to have told her- _maybe_ , who the hell knows? He's not exactly up to speed on ex etiquette and she didn't tell him when she was engaged. Not that it had worked out any better for either of them. "Yeah, _well..._ " he musters an excuse, "I've been busy."

She nods slowly, taking in his hardened features and the late hour. For someone supposedly in honeymoon bliss he certainly doesn't look it and she tilts her head curiously. "So its true then. Harvey Specter, 'eternal bachelor' of law-" her fingers mock him with inverted commas, "is finally setting down and tying the knot."

He glares at her, not bothering to dignify the question with a response. He's getting enough shit from people as it is and returns to his laptop opening anything he can use as a distraction.

The silence is disconcerting. The man she knows would usually banter back, in the least kick her out and she straightens raising an eyebrow. "Trouble in paradise already?" Something flashes across his face but it's gone before she can decipher it and concern quickly replaces the teasing nature of the visit. She didn't come with an agenda, despite what Donna would think. Maybe on some level the idea of closure had spurred her on but now she's here the history between herself and Harvey holds a stronger weight and she circles round the chair taking a seat.

He glances up with a surprised look and she doesn't blame him. Their relationship has been through several different phases over the years and always seemed to skim around friendship but however they got here, she knows him and something is clearly wrong. "Harvey, what's going on?"

He huffs air around his mouth not sure why she's asking the question. Talking isn't something they don't do (they _never_ did) and he's not exactly in the mood to open up and give the legal scene more to gaff about. "Nothing"

"Bullshit." She calls him out straight away but he doesn't seem anymore inclined to answer and she warily bites the inside of her lip. They have a history and he might not like it but in a situation like this she has every right to use it. "I've only seen you like this once." She watches his gaze snap to hers and it's clear he knows the time she's referring to. _Good_. It means they're on the same page and her lips curve into a smirk, "unless you want me to bring _that_ up, start talking."

He swallows hard at the threat, their past law school days ricocheting back to haunt him but it does ram home an old truth. For all their recent faults and lack of trust, back then -when he'd really needed her- she hadn't let him down and he gives in with a begrudging sigh. "We had a fight, _happy_?"

She would be, if it offered any insight and all and she starts with a simple assumption. "Your fault." To her genuine surprise he actually nods and she slides back in the chair making no attempt to cover her shock. "Holy shit-" she exclaims with a bemused expression, "I don't think I've ever seen you admit to being wrong before."

He's about to tell her to fuck off but she catches him off guard before the expletive slips out.

"Lets go for a drink."

She looks entirely serious and the sentiment playing with fire echoes around his head. "That's not a good idea."

" _Why_?" She challenges, raising an eyebrow, "afraid you'll end up back in my hotel room? He shoots her a pointed glare that doesn't deter her. They both know he's goddamn painfully loyal so where's the harm in hashing out his problems over a few shots. "Come on, you're not going to fix whatever it is stewing in your office." She dangles the carrot, baiting him, "and I'm a women. Who else are you going to take advice from, Moby goddamn dick?"

He snorts at the reference to Louis and well, fuck it- she has a point. "No tequila."

"Fine." She agrees to the term with her own condition, "but you're paying hotshot, you don't get to tap this resource for free. Not anymore."

She winks and the blatant innuendo doesn't go unnoticed but he let's it slide, ignoring the fact following her is probably going to land him even further in the dog house. He really should call Donna but quickly packs up his desk instead and against his better judgement powers off the phone. Last thing he wants to do is call her after a few too many. That would be a mistake and he gathers his keys and wallet leaving behind Scottie.

They don't go far, winding up in a cheap corner pub that smells like cigarettes with a faint hint of desperation. It matches his mood perfectly and he orders the first round going straight in with pints- really taking him back to their law school days. By the time they're down two he feels the edge starting to lift and when she swings a leg over her knee at the bar, clearing her throat, he preempts what's coming. "I tanked a case."

A martini drops in front of her and she absently swirls the straw with a nod. "I heard." Something as notorious as Harvey Specter being beaten doesn't exactly slip through unnoticed and she raises an eyebrow. She wants to ask what happened but figures it's more appropriate to try and be supportive. "You're not superman Harvey, it was bound to happen sooner or later."

"Not like this." He shakes his head, hand gliding around the edge of his beer. He lost when Mike went to jail, when the odds had been impossible to beat but he'd fixed it. This time it was something so ridiculous, something a first time lawyer could have been able to swing and he _fucking_ missed it.

She intercepts the look of self-pity on his face with a shrug. "So you screwed up, it happens."

Somebody has to lose, is what she doesn't say out loud. His ego has always put him above everybody in the real world but attacking it now won't help. He's already beating himself up enough and honestly she almost prefers him arrogant and self-assured. "It's hardly going to make a dent in your career."

"Tell that to Andrew Malik-" he spits, taking a lengthy sip of beer. The man's been waiting for years to take him down, looking for any opportunity and he just handed one over on a silver platter.

He empties nearly half the glass as the name registers with her. She'd heard he'd taken Donna to court a few years ago and was the reason Jessica Pearson was disbarred, slipping more of the pieces into place. "Your worried he's going to come after you." It's there in his expression but there's more and she lifts her head with sigh realising what she's been missing. "You're worried he's going to go after Donna." He drains the rest of his beer in answer and she fiddles with the straw in her drink again. "That's what you fought about?"

He shakes his head. "I didn't tell her."

A humourless sound catches in her throat because there it is- the reason why he's out drinking with her and not at home with his fiancée. "Harvey Specter shutting someone out, now there's the man I remember."

It's a dig but he can't say it isn't true and waves the bartender over for another round. He once said he'd call her if he ever fixed himself and the last time they'd spoken he admitted to being a work in progress but since taking the plunge with Donna things are different, he's different. Donna brings out the person he wants to be not the man he was, even if it isn't always the easy path to take. "Things were lot simpler back then," he laments, sliding a bill over the bar and taking his fresh pint.

"Simpler maybe..." she throws back swallowing a pang of jealousy. Getting caught up in their past isn't why she's here. She moved on from their relationship but that doesn't mean aren't parts -good and bad- that haven't stayed with her.

He watches her replace the martini in her hand with a new one, dipping his brows at the ambiguity. "What's that supposed to mean?"

It _means,_ he was a giant pain in the ass but she doesn't regret going there with him. She owed it to herself to try and there were moments, several in particular that make her lips curve behind the edge of her glass. "We had fun didn't we?"

There's a mischievous glint in her eye and he feels heat rush the back of his neck. "Scottie."

The warning is clear and she ducks her head shaking off any embarrassment. She know's where they stand but if he really wants to make things work with Donna he needs to avoid making the same mistakes. "I'm just saying... remember what happened when you kept Mike from me?"

"That was different."

She wants to ask how but the tight pull of his expression stops her and she feels a stir of rivalry as she answers her own question, "because you back then you were protecting yourself." This time he isn't and she steels herself against the echo of hurt, trying to push it out of her mind. It's stupid to compare herself. Since she met Donna it's been clear the women never had to force anything with Harvey the way she did, just proving things turned out the way they were supposed to.

"You can't save her from this Harvey." She makes the point flatly, "people are going to talk, that's the way the world works. Lawyers prey on weakness."

"No _shit_ -" he mummers into his drink, voice thick with sarcasm, "and I'm paying for this advice?"

She rolls her eyes at his tone. "You need to turn it into a strength."

"Yeah?" He scoffs shaking his head, "and how _exactly_ do I do that?"

"You could try not fucking up again." There's an air of sarcasm to the suggestion but she swivels her straw growing more serious."You need to get Malik out of your head. As soon as you start kicking ass again he won't have a reason to drag Donna into anything."

He seems to relax slightly, like it genuinely hadn't occurred to him, and she sits back properly taking him in. He looks like shit; a reflection of the relationship he's in- but not in the way most people would think. Anything able to rile him up this badly is something he has real emotions about and that'e a feat in itself.

He catches her staring and picks up his beer with frown. " _What_?

"Nothing." She sips her drink ready to shrug it off but he latches on, challenging her with a raised eyebrow.

"Come on, don't wuss out on me now." He doesn't know if it's the alcohol or just the fact he's getting things off his chest but his lips are looser, though he regrets asking when she leans forward with a strained sigh.

"There was a time I thought, _maybe,_ one day you'd fight this hard for me." It's a heavy admission that she breaks with a forced huff of amusement, "I convinced myself you didn't have it in you, that you weren't capable but... here we are."

He doesn't think it's meant with any malicious intent but he still feels guilty. There was a time, several in fact, he'd really tried to make it work between them and now he knows why he couldn't... but that doesn't change how he handled everything. "For what it's worth Dana, I am sorry."

She smiles and it's more genuine, though it could just be because the bartender preempts another round of drinks which she's grateful for. Still, the apology means something and she switches out her glass genuinely grateful- maybe even finding the closure she was looking for. "It's okay. Donna is... I mean she's smart, driven, _loyal_ -" she waves a hand motioning to her skirt, "legs that go one for days."

He let's out a low chuckle, surprised to find things veering away from awkward. It's nice for a change and he slides a fifty over the bar deciding it's money well spent. "Thanks, _for_..." he tilts his head letting the situation speak for itself, "you know."

"I'm happy for you Harvey." And she does mean it. He may be a hard man to get over but hopefully no one else is ever going to have to stumble across the fact. Providing he can figure things out with Donna before his career goes swirling into an abyss. "This one's for free..." she decides pushing one last piece of advice towards him, "retire the horse and dump the white knight get up. Donna can handle it. Believe me, she's stronger than you are tough guy."

He snorts but doesn't disagree. With everything going on Donna's been nothing but pillar of support and he's being a fucking idiot; out drinking when he should be at home trying to fix things between them. "I think we both know where I need be right now."

He steps down off the stool, finishing the last of his drink and she swivels towards him with a teasing smile, "not my hotel room?"

His lips curve in repose, hand wrapping over her shoulders as he places a light kiss against cheek. She sighs when he pulls back and without saying goodbye starts toward the door. It's fitting. They always wind up crossing paths in some form or another anyway and she waves over the barman ordering herself a shot of tequila.

"Make that two."

A thud echoes at her feet and she takes in the solider next to her with with a raised eyebrow.

"Sorry ma'am." He gives her a lopsided smile, "I just got back from a trip, could really use a drink."

"Well in that case." She motions to the empty stool beside her, gaze washing over the sandy haired man. There's something oddly familiar about him and her brows furrow as she tries to place it. "Marine?"

He shakes his head. "Delta Force." The two shots land on the bar and he picks one up tipping it towards her, "cheers."

She knocks hers down with a wince, catching his smirk out the corner of her eye and she feels the hair on the back of neck stand on edge. There's just something about him she can't shake and doesn't argue when he orders a second round. "You got a name solider boy?"

"Yes ma'am." His grin widens as he extends his arm towards her, "Logan, Wyatt Logan."

She smiles at the introduction, a light flush creeping over her skin as she shakes his hand. There's an inexplicable pull between them that she can't quite explain but she doesn't try to. Instead she let's the conversation take a more natural course. "So Wyatt Logan, what brings you to New York?"

"That would be classified ma'am." He takes the second tequila with a wink, "but it is one _hell_ of a story."

There's something about the way he says it that intrigues her and she bites down on the curve of her lip. Harvey Specter isn't the only good looking, charming man out there and for the moment at least, Wyatt Logan has her full and undivided attention.


	8. Calling You

You take away the old, show me the new and I feel like I can fly when I stand next to you.

 **\- Calling You, Blue October**

* * *

Donna turns on the faucet pouring a glass of water and jumping at the sound of keys rattling in the lock. It takes Harvey three attempts to get them in and she places her glass on the sink (debating whether to help) when he finally gets the door open, swinging it shut behind him. He kicks off his shoes with a thud and she moves out of the kitchen, leaning against the wall and parroting his words from earlier in the week. "Looks like someone had a good night."

He hits the light switch flinching as brightness floods the room and he blinks taking in her lilac pyjamas and the messy hair piled on top of her head. The sight rams home just how lucky he is and a small smile twitches his lips, the action met with a raised eyebrow reminding him they're still at odds and he puffs air into the side of his cheek. He can taste the scotch that broke up the walk, alcoholic he didn't need but had anyway, and tosses his keys on the counter scrubbing a hand over his face. "We should talk."

"About Scottie?" The tone is challenging and if she was't so pissed she'd find his baulking amusing.

"How did _you_ -"

She shoots him a glare and he doesn't bother finishing the question. Of course she knows, she's _Donna_ , and he tears the hand through his hair watching her step toward to the couch. He doesn't know whether to be relieved or scared shitless she's willing to listen but he follows her, stalling to take off his jacket and sling it over the recliner. She drops down on the leather settee, folding her hands into her lap and he takes the seat opposite mimicking the position.

"Harvey... what's going on?"

She speaks first breaking the tension and he's surprised to hear a note of concern bleeding into her voice. He was expecting anger, even jealousy but she waits patiently for an answer and he isn't quite sure what to make of her vacant expression. "We had a few drinks, that's _all_ -"

"I'm not talking about that." She exhales slowly, drawing back to stare at the lights reflecting behind him. When he didn't answer his phone she rang the office and reception told her about him leaving with Dana. She wasn't intentionally checking up on him but Charlotte has her finger on the pulse of everyone coming and going and to hear he'd left with his ex was concerning. To have him come home drunk is _worse_ but the problem reaches beyond just tonight and she tries to focus on what's really important. "You're allowed to blow off steam but I need you to talk to me."

He swallows roughly, leaning forward on his knees. He doesn't know how to admit that he keeps fucking things up, that people keep accusing him of being 'weak' and 'soft' and every time they do it has a direct impact on both their reputations. It isn't just about his ego, more that he's never had to defend it before, but her next words catch him off guard.

"If this is about the wedding, if it's too much or you want to call it off-"

" _Christ_ Donna," he pushes up with a frustrated exhale, more annoyed at himself for making her think that. It couldn't be further from the truth and he leans against the back of the recliner shaking off the spin of alcohol, "that has nothing to do with this."

She tries to let in the relief sink in but it's short lived and she closes her eyes taking a deep breath, "then what happened with Scottie?"

It's not accusing but damning enough and he flinches. Maybe going out with his ex wasn't the smartest move but he would never be disloyal and if she doesn't know that by now then they really do have a problem. "What do you think happened?"

His heated stare is enough to convince her she doesn't need to be worried about infidelity. The one thing they've always had even before they got together is trust and she bites the inside of her cheek dropping her gaze to her hands. "I think you got drunk and you told her what you can't or _won't_ tell me..." she admits, her voice shaky as she glances up at him, "and I don't know what that means for us."

The accusation hits hard, guilt smothering his frustration and the weight rests heavily in his chest. It's not like he sought out Scottie but the women's advice was right; he can't keep trying to protect Donna at the expense of their relationship otherwise there won't be one left for either of them to defend. "It doesn't mean anything." He may have opened up to Scottie but he came home to fix the mistake and he breathes out, ducking his head away to admit the truth. "Malik came at me after trial, said the reason I dropped the ball on Roache was because..." he motions between them making the point, "that's what Scottie and I talked about."

The confession surprises her and she sits up trying to read if there's more behind it. "You know that's not true."

"Doesn't matter. I fucked up and he'll use it against me." Against _us_ , he thinks but doesn't admit it out loud. He can't, the weight of it pushing him back down into the recliner.

The doubt riding his ego isn't something she's used to seeing. In fact it hasn't reared since Mike went to jail and confusion pulls her lips into a frown. "It was one case Harvey... you need to stop beating yourself up about it."

He huffs, the sound catching in his throat. "You saw the figures for the last merger."

She isn't sure if it's a rhetorical question but nods anyway. The paperwork had crossed her desk but he'd closed on an acceptable deal or at least that's what she'd thought but the look on his face says otherwise. Maybe to the outside world he'd fulfilled the legal requirements but Harvey Specter doesn't do average and he never backs down from a negotiation. "You were playing it safe."

He swallows roughly, with a shrug. It's not really an answer. He could have fought harder and maybe it wouldn't have made any difference but he should've at least tried. Instead he took the easy out so he wouldn't fall flat on his face and that's not the kind of lawyer he wants to be.

She can feel the tension radiating off him and pushes up from the couch, padding across to kneel in front of him with a sigh. "Why didn't you tell me this was bothering you so much?" He shoots down a look that takes no time to decipher the mix of stubborn concern filling in the missing pieces. He isn't just worried about his reputation he's worried about hers and she slips her hand over his knee resting her chin on her knuckles. "You're an idiot."

His first instinct is to be offended but the understanding in her gaze detracts from the insult. "You knew?"

"Not about Malik." She'd had no idea he'd turned things personal but isn't shocked by the man's vendetta. As for the rest, of course she knew. She has eyes and ears everywhere and the comments flying around since they announced their engagement have stirred both support and criticism but given the circles they run in it isn't surprising and she tries to make light of the fact. "This isn't exactly the first time I've been accused of sleeping my way to the top."

"I'm sorry Donna." It hits the air under a heavy breath and she can tell he means it but aside from being a pain in the ass lately he has nothing to apologise for.

She knew when they got together there would be a backlash but after everything they've been through losing him would be worse than not trying at all. "Why?" She asks with a gentle smile, "because the world knows we're happy."

He hums out something close to appreciation and she stands up taking his hand but he doesn't move with her. Instead he tugs her into his lap wrapping his arms around her with a sigh. "I should have said something sooner."

"Yeah, you should have." She agrees but doesn't push it any further resting her head against his shoulder. She isn't sure she wants to know what happened between him and Scottie but she's glad he got the perspective he needed and grazes her thumb over the back of his knuckles with a teasing tone. "So... how many times did she proposition you?"

" _Twice_." He chuckles in spite himself and her lips curve, eyes narrowing slightly at the answer.

"Then why do I get the feeling I should be thanking her?"

He readjusts her in his lap using his free hand to roam the length of her thigh already feeling lighter than he has in weeks. "Well she did compliment your very attractive legs."

She lets out a low laugh, tasting the alcohol on his mouth when he kisses her and she feels a stir of panic when his grip tighten around her. She knows exactly what he's thinking and pulls back giving a sharp protest. "Harvey...no, your _drunk-_ " she bites back a yelp as he swings them up, somehow managing to keep from toppling over, and she rolls her eyes at the smug smirk that's been missing from his expression recently. "I swear to god Specter, if you drop me."

"I'm practising." He shifts her effortlessly in his grasp, relishing the feel of her in his arms.

He's going to marry her and to hell with what anyone says; they're stronger together- and if Malik doesn't already know that he's about to find out.

* * *

 **AN:** I seem to be a bit stuck at how to write a wedding haha so the next update might be a bit slower getting up off the ground. I will try my best! Thank you for all the reviews and encouragement :)


	9. 18th Floor Balcony

I raised my hand as if to show you that I was yours that I was so yours for the taking, I'm so yours for the taking.

 **\- 18th floor Balcony, Blue October**

* * *

Donna takes a deep breath pulling her robe tighter as she plants herself in front of the vanity, a mimosa in one hand and her phone in the other. There's a slew of people waiting for her in the designated changing room downstairs; hair, make-up, tailor, bridesmaids and she almost wishes she'd taken up Harvey's offer to get ready at the condo. The only tradition she was insistent on was that he doesn't see her twenty-four hours before the wedding and she's willing to admit it feels stupid now. She has no idea where or what he's doing and the urge to text him shoots through her fingers but she resists the temptation, sitting the device down on the dresser.

He'll be at the church- of course he will, but it's still daunting to have to face the morning without him. Somehow their intimate, private endeavour flourished with the involvement of both their mothers and no doubt Katrina is running around somewhere with a headset attempting to get everything back under control. Usually that would be _her_ job and she feels uneasy trying to relax but a knock at the door disrupts the thought, and she pads across the room instantly relieved when she's greeted by Rachel's beaming grin.

"They sent me up to find the runaway bride."

Her voice is teasing and Donna ushers her in with a smile. "Just doing a last minute re-group."

"So I see." Rachel nods to the long stemmed glass on the vanity but there's no judgement in her tone just amusement. She can remember feeling the exact same way on her wedding day but had the advantage of knowing Donna was taking care of everything. Fortunately she's here to return the favour and stands on her tip-toes planting her hands over the redhead's shoulders. "Everything is fine, stop stressing. All you need to do is come down and spend the next hour getting pampered."

Donna exhales with a slow nod, still not entirely comfortable with surrendering the reins but she doesn't really have much of a choice. She can't be everywhere. At the moment she isn't even _anywhere_ and makes the snap decision; they need to start getting this show on the road. "Give me five minutes to get changed. There's champagne and orange juice in the fridge, just help yourself."

"I cant, _I_ -" she stops suddenly, flouncing her wrist, "maid of honour duties."

Donna frowns at the obvious lie, her eyes washing over her friend and taking in every detail of the brunette's expression. She knew from the second they met at the firm they were going to get along and ever since they've been there for the good, the bad, the happy and the ugly. It's certainly been a ride and Donna's eye's widen, her people reading skills manifesting a large grin across her face. "Oh my _god,_ you're pregnant?!"

Rachel baulks at the speed with which the redhead jumps to the right conclusion, flinching but also feeling a bubble of excitement at the escaped news. She'd wanted to wait until after the ceremony before announcing anything but now the secret's out she nods eagerly, her face lighting up with the big reveal. "The doctor called to confirm this morning," she _almost_ squeals, "I'm seven weeks along."

"Rach, I'm so happy for you!" Donna's immediately swept up in the frenzy, pulling her best friend into a hug and berating herself for not figuring it out sooner. Somehow she'd missed the obvious glow but in her defence the last two days have been a whirlwind of chaos and she draws back throwing the brunette an admonishing look. "Why didn't you say something?"

"I didn't want to steal the spotlight." She shrugs still smiling, wishing she could feel guilty for the slip-up but she's been dying to get it out. She wasn't sure how long she could keep up the charade of drinking virgin cocktails before someone noticed and if she's honest her money has been on Donna. If she leaves it to her husband to guess she'll probably be in the delivery room before he notices. "You cannot tell Mike I told you first."

A laugh catches in Donna's throat and she holds her hand to her chest mimicking the promise. Mike's going to be over the moon but unlike Rachel she can actually keep a secret and instructs her friend to sit and wait while she throws on some clothes.

 _A baby._

The realisation warms her cheeks, a sign the champagne is doing its job and she leaves the rest of the glass on the dresser deciding there's a fine line between calm and buzzed. At some point she's going to have to walk in a straight line, in front of hundreds of people wearing stilettos and the last thing she wants to do is cause a spectacle even if she is technically drinking for two now.

The thought follows her into the bedroom and she can't wait to see the look on Harvey's face when he finds out. He'll play it down (because that's what he does) but Mike's like a kid brother to him. They're a family and who knows, it may even stir talks of their own future plans. She and Harvey have touched on having children but the talk always seems to fall by the wayside to something else, and again she's quick to keep the idea from spiralling. They have to get through the wedding first and a new wave of enthusiasm pushes her into getting ready.

In a few hours she's going to be Mrs. Paulsen-Specter but the formality isn't going to change what's important; she and Harvey already have everything.

The rest is just icing on the cake.

.｡o - o｡..

* * *

Harvey tries not to focus on the rows of people or the buzzing murmur in the crowd making him feel slightly anxious.

It's a small venue but there seems to be a sea of guests, half of which he's sure he doesn't even know thanks to Donna's mother. The women insisted she be able to flaunt her daughter's wedding to her friends and he hadn't offered any argument- something he's starting to regret. He's used to parading around in a court room full of strangers but this is different and he flexes his fingers in an attempt to keep from fidgeting.

Mike picks up on the tick and clasps his own hands together, gaze washing over the large stained glass windows and gothic architecture. The view from the stage does it even more justice and even though he should already be down the front with Marcus, Robert and Louis he remains in place, keeping Donna's spot warm and giving Harvey some light encouragement. " _Relax-"_ he offers with a nudge, "as soon as she walks out it's just going to be you and her." That's how it had been on his wedding day. He hadn't had eyes for anyone other than Rachel and he smiles keeping his voice low, "just try not to screw up the vowels."

Harvey locks his jaw forcing amusement for appearances sake. The last thing his wants to do is have the room think he's nervous and he breathes out releasing the tension from his shoulders. "Remind me again why I keep inviting you places?"

Mike shrugs, his mouth twisting into a smirk, "because I'm the arm candy?"

"You're the mouth, that's for sure..." Harvey snaps back, shifting his feet on the creaky floorboards. There's an eloquent charm to old space which both he and Donna fell in love with. It's antique and rickety, far from perfect but alive with character and all sarcasm aside he's grateful for Mike's presence on the small plateau. He isn't comfortable with being the center of attention but knows it won't be for long and as if on cue the violins start, the sound filling the high beamed archways. It isn't a traditional wedding piece but it's still orchestral and Mike gives his arm a quick squeeze before taking his leave, descending the stairs to join Marcus, Robert and Louis on the opposite side of the choir.

Harvey swallows roughly, waiting for the change in music like it's a lifeline and the second it switches his eyes fall to the back of the church landing on Donna's assuring smile. It instantly relaxes him, tuning out everything else and Mike was right; she's all he can see. He doesn't even notice what she's wearing too focused on reminding himself to breathe but Jim is still slow on his feet giving Harvey time to take her all in.

The dress _is_ \- he doesn't even know how to describe it. There's a layer of sequined gold sheer lace, wrapped around beige undertones, the length spilling out to move effortlessly with her careful steps. All he wants to do is run his hands over the delicate fabric, up through the curls pinned over her shoulder and tell her she's the most amazing thing that's ever happened to him.

The rush of emotion is overwhelming and he exhales slowly, steeling himself against it as her father takes his seat. He's supposed to wait for the celebrant to help but forgets the minor detail, taking on the duty himself and slipping his fingers around her hand to guide her up the stairs. When they come to a stop she smiles brightly and he opens his mouth, tensing under the weight of a sudden tremor. For a split second he thinks it's nerves but the feeling intensifies and he quickly becomes aware it's the room shaking, not him.

The sound of a scream somewhere behind them pierces an explosion of glass and he moves to grab Donna but the floorboards rupture beneath them, tipping his equilibrium and he reaches blindly as the stage collapses sending them both crashing through the splintering wood into the crawl-space below.

The last thing he registers is a searing pain as he lands hard on the ground- right before the darkness engulfs him.

.｡o - o｡..


	10. Bleed Out Part 1

Close my eyes, feel you sigh... a desperate aching wonder, will you ever, ever let me off my knees?

 **\- Bleed Out, Blue October**

A high pitched wine penetrates Harvey's subconsciousness and he coughs, trying to clear the dust clogging his airway but an intense burst of pain in his elbow outweighs the need for oxygen and he lies still trying to catch his breath. There was an earthquake, he remembers that much.

He and Donna were- _fuck_.

" _Shit..._ " he grinds out the curse as he rolls onto his uninjured side blinking and trying to adjust to the dim light streaming in from the hole above him. It's maybe six or seven feet up, to high to climb out, and he tries to quell his panic glancing around the trap room that's filled with debris. Half the supports came down with the tremor but the space is mostly intact, save for where they fell through, and he forces himself up biting through an intense burn in his shoulder.

" _Donna!_ "

He grips his forearm trying to localise the pain, swallowing a knot of fear as he catches a shimmer of gold spilling out from beneath a thin sheet of ply-wood. It's enough incentive to drive him to move and he clenches his jaw scrambling over to where she's laying, lifting the flimsy obstacle to find her upper-body trapped beneath one of the collapsed beams. There's no way in hell he can shift it, not with his elbow the way it is, and he tries focusing on how badly she's injured instead. There's nothing immediately obvious just a few cuts and bruises and he taps his palm gently against the side of her cheek. " _Donna_?" She doesn't stir and he grips her a little more firmly, "come on babe, wake up."

She groans against the intrusion her voice groggy as she tries to pull away from him, "hatewhen you... call me _that_."

His mouth cracks with relief but it falters when her eyes close again. "Hey, with me okay- or I'll keep saying it."

The persistence rings in her ears and something doesn't feel right. They're not in his Condo. There's a sharp edge digging into her back that definitely isn't a mattress and the memories return in a rush jolting her into the present. She tries to move but can't, pinned by a weight, and her breathing hitches with panic making her dizzy. She needs to get out but Harvey's hand on her shoulder stills the futile attempt.

" _Easy_ , just try to relax..." he squeezes, worried she's going to do more damage. He feels sick with fear himself but pushes it down trying to assess exactly how bad the situation is. "Go slowly, tell me where it hurts."

She's almost too afraid to try but tests what she can with the pressure resting on top of her. There's no immediate pain, just discomfort. She can move her legs and everything below where she's trapped and she sucks in a deep breath managing to wriggle her arms out from under the wood. She pushes up but the beam doesn't budge and she's wedged too far to slip out. "I'm okay." She closes her eyes momentarily, "nothing feels broken." His sigh is audible and she turns to look at him as best she ca noting his clammy skin and the way his arm is bent at an odd angle. He's obviously in pain and worry quickly replaces the concern for her own safety.

He catches the look and shrugs it off before she can ask. "Dislocated elbow, I'll be fine.'

She doesn't believe the sharp dismissal and can't help the wave of fear that rolls through her. Not just for him but for the guests they invited as well. "Harvey... everyone else."

"I know." He wishes he could reassure her but the light streaming down is a positive start and no sooner than he thinks it he hears Mike's voice boom down into the hole shouting out their names and dislodging another layer of dust.

" _Mike_?" He calls back up, shielding his gaze from the falling debris.

 **[Thank _Christ_ , are you guys okay?]**

He can't see the kid, probably a good thing given how unstable the boards seem but he yells back knowing he must be up there somewhere. "We're fine but Donna's pinned beneath one of the supports, you need to get someone down here."

 **[EMS and the fire brigade are on their way. You just need to sit tight.]**

"We're not exactly going anywhere." The frustration in his voice is evident and he exhales roughly, "was anyone else hurt?" He waits for a response, the silence stretching out making him nervous. "Mike?"

 **[Sorry. The police are here, they've starting evacuating people.]**

He can hear the rumble of voices and what sounds like the kid having a disagreement before he shouts back again.

 **[A few people are hurt but nothing too serious. They want to cordon off the church, they're worried about possible aftershocks.]**

Of course they are. Makes sense. Half of the building just collapsed but the red tape is only going to slow down rescue efforts not speed them up.

 **[Hang on. We're going to get a few things down to you. Any requests, dvds, toothbrush?]**

He swears he could kill the kid and hug him at the same time. "Painkillers." He responds gruffly, breathing though a wave of nausea.

 **[I'll see what I can do.]**

Good man, he thinks, glancing at the support laying across Donna. If he can get something to take the edge off he might stand a better chance of getting her out and he waits semi-patiently until Mike returns ten or fifteen minutes latter warning he can't see where anything's going to land. Several bottles of water hit the rubble near where they're sat, followed by a can of Pringles, some gum (he doesn't ask), two muesli bars and an orange vile containing pills that rattles down to his feet.

 **[That should tide you over but I'm going to need you to try and catch the radio.]**

Harvey abandons the medication grunting as he pushes up, standing roughly where he thinks it might be thrown. He has no idea how he's going to manage it but signals he's ready and grits his teeth, swallowing a pained groan when the object lands ricocheting a sharp burn throughout his shoulder. Spots dance across his vision but he pushes them back, fumbling with the button and panting heavily into the box. "Got it."

 _"You're supposed to say over, over."_

A sharp retort bites his tongue but a deeper male voice cuts across the line.

 _"Mr. Specter. I'm Sergeant Tony Hemway. We're working on a way to get you and your fiancée out. We're hoping you should have access to a stage door on the left side of the building."_

He shifts his gaze across to the corner covered in debris. It looks like it's mostly just flooring sheet and he's hoping with a bit of manoeuvring he should be able to get to it. "I see it."

 _"We've done a preliminary check and parts of the passageway have collapsed but it still looks like our best bet. As soon as the rescue team arrives we'll send them that way first to see if it can be stabilised."_

Any idea how long that's going to take?" He presses back into the radio already formulating his own plan. If he can find a way to get Donna free then maybe he can start to clear a way from their side- and _goddamn_ Mike, because he obviously knew it would be his first thought.

 _"Sir, I would not advise attempting to leave only making the door accessible. We'll have you out as quickly as possible, over."_

The sergeant's word is worth shit as far he's concerned but the fact Mike's there puts his mind slightly at ease, not to mention the hoards of other people including his mother, Louis, Donna's father, Rachel, Robert and whoever else is willing to raise hell to get them out. Personally his money is on Louis. The man has a flare for dramatics and he takes comfort in the fact as he kicks their supplies into a pile, dropping back down next to Donna. He reaches for the pills first, getting stuck at the click-lock and hands them over with a warning look. "Not a word."

"About how much pain you're in-" she says seriously, raising an eyebrow, "or you being a child?" She pops open the lid designed to keep children out and hands it back to him with a sigh. There isn't much else either of them can do except wait and hope the situation doesn't get any worse.

 _Unless_ , she glances at the door- Harvey can find his own way out.

"No..." he interrupts with a stern expression, "not happening."

She bites the inside of her lip reading the pain in his expression. He needs a doctor and the longer they wait the worse it's going to get. "There might be a _way_ -"

"Donna." He cuts her off not leaving any room for any argument. "The only way I'm leaving is if you're coming with me. Got it?"

She hates the part of herself that's relived by his adamant determination. The thought of being left alone, she doesn't even want to think about it, but he should at least consider it an option and she mutters under her breath, "...stubborn ass."

He catches the comment and his eyebrows lift towards her. "What did you just call me?"

"We both know what I just called you." She throws back, a hint of amusement lacing her tone despite their situation.

He can't help smirking back. He's just grateful she's okay and sits forward, trying to carefully manoeuvre his way out of the jacket he's wearing.

"Lucky I intend on marrying you anyway," he jokes, flinching as he slides out of the tight fit but the painkillers must be kicking in because a fuzz is starting to creep in and he takes a minute, watching her eyes drift down to the front of her chest.

"I'll need a new dress..." she hums with disappointment, knowing it's the least of their problems. There's no way to tell how much damage was caused to rest of church, who was hurt or what the situation is like above them. It's beyond frustrating and she breathes in sharply as he shuffles closer. "You think this is a bad omen?"

He balls up his jacket as much as he can, motioning for her to lift up her head. He doesn't believe in superstitions. People create their own luck and he smiles gently as he tries to make her more comfortable. "It could be raining down locusts and I'd still want to marry you."

It's a sweet and her mouth twitches in response. "Floods?"

"I'll build us an Ark." He brushes the side of her face, careful to avoid the small cuts and bruises as he skates his thumb over her skin. She's hiding it but he can tell she's scared -he is too- but they're in this together. He isn't leaving and drops his hand finding the nearest water bottle giving it to her to open. "I'm going to try clearing the door."

She undoes the cap and takes a sip wishing there was more she could do to help. The obvious aside, she's still worried about his arm and offers him the drink with a frown. "Be careful."

He takes a quick swig, setting it back down beside her and forcing a tight smile. "You know me."

She does, that's the problem. But it's not like she has any other choice except to let him go. No doubt Mike is doing his best to get them out, they have to do theirs, and she gives another pointless shove at the beam giving up with a frustrated sigh.

If they do make it out, their friends are never going to let this one go.

.｡o - o｡..

A whirlwind of chaos buzzes around the street and Mike's frustration grows with each passing minute. There are paramedics, firefighters and police everywhere. Every _goddamn_ person and their dog -except the recuse team- and he crawls under the cordoned off section back onto the grounds of the church. They've managed to evacuate all the peopel from inside with the exception of one choir member who still is trapped and he goes straight to the Sargent in charge of the operation. He's older, in his late fifties with greying hair, and standing in a huddle with a group of firefighters. Mike interrupts having already established himself as the 'civilian' in charge. "How long until rescue gets here?"

Hemway gives a nod to the men and women in front of him, confirming their plan, and turns to the young Lawyer leading him back with a firm hand. In his experience it's always better to have one person relaying facts to concerned family members. It saves him time and means bystanders are less likely to attempt anything stupid. "Eta is twenty minutes. In the meantime we have two teams in operation, one working on the individual trapped above ground and the other clearing the collapsed passage down into the staging area."

The explanation is carefully worded, making no mention of the equipment they're still waiting on or how long it's all going to take and Mike stiffens as Louis appears on the other side of the tape behind him with Sheila closely in tow. He's bleeding from a large gash to his head but the injury doesn't stop his anger.

"What the hell is taking so long!"

Hemway glances from Mike to the booming voice, his expression hardening at the interruption. "Sir, we're doing everything we can."

Louis isn't settled by the placating tone, if anything it just makes him more irate. Those are his friends down there and everyone's standing around like it's some bloody carnival ride. "You think I won't sue your ass for negligence? I'm the best lawyer this city has and the other one is lying down there in that _fucking_ hole-"

"Louis." Mike cuts him off, for once tempted to side with the man but getting angry is only going to exacerbate the situation and he steps up to the line with a stern but sympathetic expression. "You need to calm down, let the paramedics check out that head-wound. I'll make sure this is taken care of."

"Like _hell_."

"Louis..." Sheila tugs on his arm, blowing out a dramatic sigh, "I'm not feeling well, I think I need to sit down." She knows it's cruel making him worry but his expression instantly softens and she catches a look of gratitude on Mike's face as her husband's attention shifts away from the police officer.

"Are you okay, what's wrong?" His voice fills with concern, torn between his loyalties but her reassuring squeeze eases his fear. Still, it would be reckless not to to get her checked out and he glances at Mike with an apologetic frown. "I'm sorry, _I_ -"

"Go, I'll come find you as soon as there's an update." Thank god for Sheila, he thinks, scrubbing a hand up and across his face. The man might be overzealous when it comes to his emotions but he's not wrong to be frustrated and he turns back to Hemway with a determined stance. "I can help, give me a hardhat whatever. Just let me do something." The Sargent looks hesitant and Mike isn't above pleading to his rational side. "You need people, I'm not hurt and it'll put everyone's minds at ease."

It's a lawsuit waiting to happen, but he's never been stringent with rules when it comes to saving peoples lives. "Sign a volunteer waiver and I'll put you with group two."

Mike nods more than happy to accept the risk. So long as it means getting his friends out sooner he doesn't care. For Harvey to ask for pain medication he knows it must be bad and takes the hi-visibility vest Hemway shoves him slipping it over his shoulders. "I just need a minute." The older man nods and he ducks under the tape, moving through the sea of people and vehicles to find his wife. She's standing with Robert and her eyes light with concern when she spots him.

"Are they okay, what's happening?" Rachel instinctively covers her stomach as he approaches. Neither she or the baby were hurt but the paramedics warned her about high blood pressure and she breathes in slowly trying to keep her heart-rate steady.

Mike stops in front of her, his hand lifting to rest against her shoulder. "They're still waiting on rescue to get here but they've started clearing a way down. I'm going to go in and see if there's something I can do to help. "

Rachel takes in the vest his wearing and feels a sense of panic curl in her chest. She wants Donna and Harvey out as much as anyone but there have been warnings of an aftershock and she can't handle the thought of him getting hurt as well. "Mike you can't, it's too dangerous."

"She's right." Robert interjects, stepping up to the pair. He only learned a few moments ago that his daughter is pregnant and she should be at the hospital getting looked over properly, not working herself into more of a state and it takes all of his self control not to lead with the fact. "Let the emergency services do their job."

"I need to help." Mike understands their concern and the risk but if roles were reversed Harvey would already be down there trying to dig him out- bare-handed if that's what it took. "I'll be careful, I _promise_ -"

"I'm pregnant." It slips out before Rachel can stop herself, watching the confusion then shock flash across Mikes face and she says it again more softly. "I know you want to do something, I do too but this baby needs us."

"You're pregnant?" He repeats it back to her, a mix of emotions hitting him all at once. "Are you okay, the _baby_ -"

"We're fine." She's quick to assure him but her father jumps in with a stern tone.

"Her blood pressure is up, I think it's best we get her to the hospital just to be safe."

"Dad." She doesn't want to leave not untill she knows her friends are safe but she can see the determination in her father gaze matching her husbands.

"Rachel, he's right. All this stress can't be good." Mike settles his hands over her shoulders, concern and excitement washing over him all at the same time. He wishes the news had come under better circumstances but he'd rather know she's safe and glances at Robert, "will you take her?

"I'm not leaving you here." Her own stubborness flares but his desperation softens her expression.

"I'll stay out of the building-" he promises, needing her to listen to him for once in her life. "I"ll call with any updates, _please_ Rach."

A sigh pulls heavily in her chest as she thinks of Donna, how scared she must be but she also knows if the redhead were able she'd be showing the exact same concern as Mike. "Okay." She reluctantly agrees, "just... be careful."

His hand slides down to her stomach, giving her a lopsided grin, "you know me."

She ignores the comment, wrapping her arms up around his neck and squeezing him tightly praying he doesn't do anything stupid.

She needs him, Harvey and her best friend out in one piece.

.｡o - o｡..

 **AN: Hi all! I'm really sorry for any format issues or spelling mistakes. I'm still posting from the app cause I dont have access to my laptop at the moment. Out of interest do you guys prefer reading on your computer or on a phone? I find I alternate depending on which mood I'm in but maybe that's just me :P**


	11. Bleed Out Part 2

And way down, I know... you know where to cut me with your eyes closed.

 **\- Bleed Out, Blue October**

Donna squeezes her fingers and toes- the movement all she can manage but at least it's something, a comfort to help control the fear sweeping in as she glances at Harvey. His eyes flutter closed for what feels like the hundredth time in a few minutes and she knows he's struggling to stay awake. Hopefully due to the painkillers, not any head trauma he's sustained and she stretches reaching the inside of his calf and giving it a light squeeze.

He startles awake and she feels guilty, her lips twisting into a concerned frown, "drugs working?"

"Too well..." he admits clearing his throat and trying to shake the fog clouding his thoughts. The pain in his elbow has died down to a moderate ache but the trade-off is exhaustion and he bites down on his lip, shifting a little straighter to try and keep himself alert.

She watches his face tighten with the movement, beads of sweat breaking out across his forward and can't help pointing out the obvious. "You look like hell."

A smirk crosses his lips. He _feels_ like hell but considering she came out of it mostly unscathed he'll take the trade-off and tries to act like they're at home alone in their apartment a million miles away from the situation they're in. "You look _gorgeous_ ," he croaks, winding his good arm out to find her hand.

The touch is reassuring but his glazed expression still has her worried and she breathes out clasping his fingers, "I think you took to many drugs, they're making you delusional."

The attempt at humor falls flatly beneath the tight tone and he lets go swiping at the moisture building across his hairline. It's probably a combination of pain and dehydration, the suit he has on and the stuffy air being recycled. The situation isn't ideal and he sticks one of the waters between his legs so he can undo the lid. The liquid helps making him feel slightly more human and he seals the cap throwing his gaze at her pensive expression. "Stop worrying, I'm fine."

"Would you tell me if you weren't?" She shoots back, the question rhetorical. They both know he wouldn't and she turns her head as far as she can to where he's managed to clear the debris from the door. A knot of panic worms its way into her chest at the thought of being left alone but he's getting worse and there's no telling if or when an aftershock might hit. If there's even the slightest chance he can get out he should take it and she steels herself against the fear pitted in her stomach. " _Harvey_..."

"Donna, we've been through this." He's already followed her gaze and knows exactly what she's going to say but they've already had this conversation and it isn't happening.

The stubbornness is resolute and she doesn't want him to go, especially doesn't want to argue but if it means keeping him safe she'll draw whatever line she has to. "I'm not hurt-" her hands land over the wood making her point, "I'll be fine till rescue get here."

He shakes his head adamant against the idea. She doesn't know that. Anything could happen including a second tremor and he isn't going to take the risk. "I'm not leaving you."

She closes her eyes in frustration. It's hard enough fighting her own panic and she resorts to pleading, the whisper filling the space between them, "Harvey, _please_."

The begging sways his composure but he doesn't give in. Under normal circumstances it would make him do almost anything but this is different and he swallows the tightness building in his throat, his own voice wavering, "askig me that it isn't fair."

Maybe it isn't but her eyes snap open in spite of her fear. "No." She argues digging her hand in the rubble, "what's not fair is both of us could die down here if you _don't_ -"

"Hey." He stops her, his expression softenin despite the firm tone. He might be in pain but being trapped comes with its own frustrations and he shifts closer, adjusting himself so her head is inline with his thigh. "Nobody is dying, we're both going to be fine." She seems to settle at his presence and he breathes out slowly, "they told us to stay put for a reason. We just need to trust they know what they're doing... and that Mike has the balls to make sure they do it."

His fingers brush through her hair and she blinks back the moisture threatening her gaze. The nearness helps, makes the beam less claustrophobic somehow and she tries to focus on her friends. On something positive. "Rachel's pregnant."

He stills at the news. "The kid's gonna have a kid?" She nods against him and the realization has a sobering effect urging a smile onto his lips. "Jesus."

She can't help smirking at the response, stretching her hand down to rest against his leg. "Mike doesn't know yet." If they do get out she doesn't want him ruining the surprise but he seems more perplexed by the fact she knows rather than Mike being in the dark.

"Rachel told you first?"

This time she does manage a smile. "It's a girl thing."

He isn't sure it's a valid excuse but is relieved she seems more relaxed and ribs her gently. "So you'd tell Rachel before you told me?"

" _I_ -" she hesitates, glancing up at his curious expression. "We're having kids now?" She teases not sure it's the best form of distraction. They've have conversions touching on it. She knows family is important to him and they both like children but having one of their own has always been skirted around and she bites down on the inside of her lip taking the plunge. "I guess... I mean if we want to, we should probably start thinking about it."

"And you're choosing now?" He asks, a bemused look crossing his features.

She shrugs as best she can given her awkward position. "Why not?" Unless you'd rather try and get out of here." It's probably too soon for the joke and he lets it go though she isn't sure whether that's a good or a bad thing. "Unless it's not something you want?"

There's no judgment to the question but it still lands like a weight in his chest, compounding the throb in his arm. "I not saying that."

"You're not _not_ saying it either." She points out but know's it isn't exactly black and white. Between their careers and the life they live it's complicated and she squeezes his leg gently, reassuring him it's okay to be honest.

"I want a family with you." He knows that much. It's just the how and when that present itself as a challenge. "Right now, with the firm the firm the way it is... we cant even take a proper honeymoon, how would we fit a baby into that?"

"There's never a good time Harvey," she says, a light smile playing on her lips, " but Louis managed to figure it out, I'm sure we can."

It's a fair point and he pulls his hand back from her hair, readjusting his elbow with a wince. Timing isn't the only thing to consider. They're both integral to the daily running of the firm and if she got pregnant it would mean needing to slow down. "You'd be okay giving up work? It comes out wrong, he knows that much when she snorts at the assumption.

"It's not the sixties anymore-" she throws back at him rolling her eyes, "I could still keep my job."

Of course she could. If that's what she wanted but he frowns at the idea of neither of them being around. He doesn't want to end up being one of those couples who's children call them by their first names and the idea of a stranger being too involved just feels off. "We're not leaving it stuck with a nanny all day."

She chuckles at the 'it' reference but she agrees with him, in two minds about how it would all work. "We could both cut back our hours, take it in turns?"

It seems fairer but he's never liked doing anything by half and maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Maybe he'd find a bigger purpose, something more fulfilling than winning the next big unbeatable case. "Or just me?" He throws it out there watching surprise flash in her gaze.

" _You_ be a stay at home dad?" She raises an eyebrow and he shrugs

"Or I could just work from home." Half the role is admin anyway and there's no reason why he couldn't take more meetings over the phone. "All babies do is eat and sleep for the first 6 months anyway."

A vision of him leaving the baby watching TV while he goes out to meet a client rears and it's enough to make her reconsider the idea. "Great. You take care of the baby and I'll hire a nanny to take care of you."

He feigns offence at the suggestion, teasing her back. "Harriet for a girl?"

A light flush creeps over her cheeks and she almost forgets that they're trapped underground- aside from the weight pressing on her torso and the rocks digging into her back. Still, she feels more at ease and risks lifting her hand from his leg to work out as many of the kinks as she can. "I told you that story in good faith."

" _No..."_ he shakes his head, "you told me that because you burnt my good frying pan and you were trying to distract me."

She has a vague memory of the incident happening after one too many wines but decides if it is true it was hardly her fault. "You're always saying I should expand my culinary skills."

"That's because all you can do is boil an egg." Amusement underlines the tone and he finds himself smiling at the pout on her lips ." _Fine_ -" he concedes with a grin, "andmake a salad."

She slaps his leg playfully. "You like my salads."

"They're salads." He protests, nothing really likable about them one way or another. "I'm teaching our kid how to cook." He feels her gaze flick up in surprise and frowns. "What?"

"You said our kid." It's a small silly detail but having him call their hypothetical child something other than an 'it' makes the whole thing seem even more like a possibility.

His lips cure loosely at the slip. "Does kind of have a ring to it." He's warming to the idea when a light vibration starts under his fingers and fear clamps in his chest as it builds rattling the foundations around them. It turns into a full-blown tremor and he bites out a curse as the shuddering jars through his arm. He can barely see through the debris and dust raining down but Donna gives a sharp cry and he feels for her, suddenly slammed by her body knocking them both back. He almost passes out from the impact but forces himself to hold on, gripping her as best he can until the quake stops, plummeting them into an eery stillness. He doesn't move, trying to catch his breath and fight the burn piercing through his shoulder.

"Harvey, _god_ I'm sorry... I didn't mean-" she swallows, fussing as she slides herself off him, "are you okay?"

He manages to nod, the feel of something wet and sticky on his fingertips propelling his adrenaline. He can't register any other injuries, just pain, but his gut knows something is wrong and screws his eyes shut letting out a grunt as pushes up searching his body for the injury.

There isnt one.

The blood isn't his and he catches Donna's wide eyes, his gaze dropping from her confused expression to the red staining the front of her dress. It's darker in places, a sign it didn't just happen. Maybe something embedded in the wood or the beam was keeping pressure on the wound -he doesn't know- but the bright crimson spreads and he completely forgets about his elbow when she slumps forward, his vision greying in and out as he eases her to the ground.

The rubble presses into her back but she's fixed on her confusion, silence escaping in a gasp as the feeling begins to return to her abdomen. It starts with a sharp stabbing and she sucks in as Harvey bunches his jacket against her stomach. She doesn't understand when or how it happened but her hands move to replace his one, pushing against the ball of fabric as best she can.

 _"You guys okay?"_

Mike's voice crackles through the silence and Harvey reaches behind him for the radio, screwing his eyes shut and forcing his voice to comply. "Donna managed to get out, but..." he stops to look at her, adrenaline mixing with his pain, "she's hurt."

 _"How bad?"_

Mike doesn't beat around the bush and Harvey opens his mouth. " _I_ -" the word catches as stares at the blood on her hands. He can't bring himself to admit she's slowly bleeding out and tries to hide the fear in his voice. "How far away are recuse?"

 _"Mr. Specter, my name's Roberta Mckinley. I'm in charge of the rescue operation leading your team. We've secured the foundation and we're going to start clearing away the debris to get to you, over."_

The new voice doesn't give him anything worth shit and he has to stop himself throwing down the radio in frustration. They're working on it- that's what he takes from the conversation and he slides back to Donna taking off his belt. He needs to do _something_ and between the two of them they manage to fashion a tourniquet around the wound.

She grits through the pain, feeling it ebb into more of a dull ache and she tries to relax, a cold rush of exhaustion hitting her body. She knows it's due to the blood loss and swallows hard, turning her head towards the radio. "Harvey... I want to talk to my dad."

He doesn't move, panic keeping him rooted in place. He wants to tell her no, that she isn't saying goodbye to anyone but he can't bring himself to argue with the pleading look in her gaze and he takes the device holding down the button with shaking fingers. "Mike, is Jim there?"

There's a beat of silence before the Kid crackles over the line.

 _"Two second's."_

They wait and her father's concern is palpable when it breaks the tension.

Harvey knows exactly how he feels.

 _"Donna? What's wrong, are you okay?"_

She takes the radio, emotion catching in her throat at the sound of his voice but she fights it steeling herself against a wave of fear. She doesn't want him thinking she's afraid and forces her lips to curve in a small smile. "I'm fine." There's hesitation on the other end and she knows he's trying to do the same thing, come up with a lie to make her feel better.

 _"They're going to have you out of there soon."_

She plays along with it for both their sakes. "I know." It doesn't get her very far and she takes a breath, wincing as it pulls through her chest. "I love you... and mom." She keeps it short and to the point. Her mother's panic would only exacerbate the situation if they spoke directly but she trusts her father to relay the message. "Make sure you tell her."

 _"She knows Donna, she's here with me."_

It comes as a relief and she loosens her hand on the button.

 _"You just hang in there. We love you."_

She nods even though he can't see it and tears sting her gaze as Harvey takes the radio out of her hand. She just wants to sleep, close her eyes and forget the hell they're in but his fingers gather the moisture on her cheeks and she turns her head towards him. "I'm okay."

"You heard what he said... we'll be out of here in no time." He wants to believe it and won't let himself consider anything else. Aside from Donna's injury there's a worrying numbness in his hand that has started to travel its way up his side but he doesn't say anything. The positive is that it negates the need for more pain relief but he wonders if Donna needs some. "Does it hurt?"

She shakes her head taking in his flushed skin and the awkward angle his elbow is sitting at. He's in no better shape than she is but there's determination set in his expression, a fight that she can't seem to grasp hold of, and she swallows dryly trying to shake off the pull of exhaustion.

"Donna." His voice is thick with concern when her eyes flutter closed and he feels for the closest water bottle using his teeth to remove the cap. "Here, drink this."

Her hand moves to help and she manages to drain the last of it, blinking up at him. There's so much she wants to say; how scared she is, how much she loves him, how she wishes they'd had a stupid outdoor wedding... but the words can't seem to find their way out and she reaches for his hand with an apology instead. "I'm sorry."

" _Don't_." He squeezes her fingers urging her to stay awake, to be stubborn and ignore what's happening because he can't lose her. He won't and there's desperation in his tone as he lets her go, sliding his hand up against her pale cheek. "Don't you _dare_ -" he orders, a sharp sting burning through his gaze,"you think I'll be okay without you, I won't and I don't care if that's selfish. I need you."

Her mouth curves in a light smile. "Need?"

" _Need_." His drawn to the lilac hue of her lips, his heart hammering as he pleads with her, "you can't leave me."

She nods, the panic in his voice forcing her to sober up as much as she can. "Talk to me about... what we're going to do when we get out of here."

He fights the emotion straining in his throat, pushing it down as he brushes her hair back. "First thing I'm going to do is slap Mike for sending gum and not bandages."

A laugh curls in her chest and she flinches huffing it out, " _don't_... make me laugh."

He bites the inside of his cheek stilling his hand at her shoulder, "how about this? Once we get you fixed up why don't we look at places to go on our honeymoon."

"We decided not to take one." She reminds him with a soft gaze, appreciating the effort he's going to trying to distract her.

"Well, I'm un-deciding." It doesn't matter anymore. The firm, whether they have kids- what people think. He just needs her and shifts closer taking the strain off his back. "You, me and cocktails somewhere in the Caribbean."

It sounds like heaven and she tries to imagine the warmth seeping into her body, the sand beneath her fingers and she closes her eyes to picture it. "It sounds nice."

Her voice is heavy and he runs his gaze down to his suit jacket, the sheen obvious against the dark color. They need something else to slow the bleeding but there isn't anything, not that will make enough of a difference, and he gently nudges her shoulder, " _hey_ , stay with me."

"Tired."

It's barely a murmur and he slides his fingers down to her wrist, his own pulse drumming so fast he can barely feel the slow flicker beneath his touch. "I know but you can't sleep, not yet."

His hand ands back in her face and she tries to nose away the irritation, managing to lift her lids enough to make out his concern. "You'll tell me..." she asks gently, watching him force a smile.

"Yeah, I'll tell you." He grips her hand again, startled by a loud bang behind them and relief courses through him when the door is suddenly forced open.

"Over here!" He shouts, keeping his gaze fixed on Donna. Her eyes are closed again and he runs his hand through her hair, savouring the feel of her before he's pulled back by the paramedics or whoever the hell is fussing over him. He doesn't give a damn. All he cares about is making sure Donna's okay and he hovers watching them work to stabilise her, his heart lodged in his throat when they're finally ready to move her.

The climb out through the rubble is a blur, his only focus the light streaming in from somewhere up ahead and when they reach daylight he blinks back the brightness, stumbling behind the stretcher when he hears Mike shout from somewhere.

"Is she okay?"

The kid's suddenly at his side and stops, watching them load her into the ambulance shaking his head.

Mike feels a stab of sympathy wash over his concern and he isn't sure who he's more worried about. Harvey looks ready to keel over and he catches the man's side helping to keep him upright. "Hey, _easy_."

"Harvey!"

He flinches at the sound of his mother's voice, shrugging Mike off as the women slips under the taped area. "Mom, I'm fine. Go with Mike... I'll meet you at the hospital." Donna's parents are nearby too and the world spins as he starts towards the flashing vehicle. His body doesn't align with his determination and the last thing he feels is the weight of a paremedics hand before everything goes black.

.｡o - o ｡.

 **AN: I really wrestled with where to take this next. Part of me almost wanted to have it all end horribly (to vent my angst XD) but I couldn't bring myself to do it!**


	12. The Feel Again

Just look into those big brown eyes and you'd just fall apart. We should stay, at least we'd stay, at least she'd know.. that we should never let go.

 **The Feel Again - Blue October**

.｡o - o｡.

Harvey leans his head back against the wall in the small room letting out a sigh as Mike leaves to go find them a coffee each.

Forty-eight hours, that's how long Harvey's been waiting to hear something other than 'they're doing all they can' for Donna and he readjusts his sling wincing through the dull ache. He woke up in a hospital bed, elbow throbbing but back in place to find she was in surgery and everything about his own injury washed over him in a blur. No permanent damage, something about physio... he wasn't listening, his questions revolving solely around Donna. She'd gone into hypovolemic shock -whatever the hell that meant- and they'd been in and out of theatre since, trying to repair the damage and keep her stable.

He doesn't think he's ever been this scared and scrubs a hand over his face, a sudden movement to the left drawing his attention. There's a young girl with strawberry blonde hair clambering onto a chair two seats down and his gaze roams across to the only other occupant of the room; a women in her late thirties, slumped with her eyes closed in the opposite corner.

He looks at the kid again and sighs.

A pair a glittery silver shoes lay discarded under the seat and he angles toward where she's climbed up onto the backrest, her small body reaching to see out the window. Its dark and he doesn't really get what she's doing but throws a careful warning at her anyway. "You should come down from there."

She turns her head not in the least deferred at being told off by a stranger.

"Why?" She questions, her brown eyes narrowing at him.

" _Because_..." he shoots back sounding like a petulant child himself and he does her the courtesy of offering an actual answer. "It's dark and you wont be able to see anything."

"I might see an owl." She huffs stubbornly, the tips of her fingers curling around the window ledge. "They have bin-oc-u-er eyes-" she sounds out the word standing on her toes, "and there a more than a hundred a fiffy types. Some even live where it's really cold like 'artica."

Harvey stares at the girl. She doesn't seem old enough to count let alone have a repoture of bird knowledge but at least it's a distraction and he plays along. "Yeah, how do you know know that?"

She falls back on her heels rolling her eyes. "Because Im six. I know _everything."_

It hits him how much she's just like a young Donna and the feeling winds in his chest, the air escaping in a rush as she climbs down leaving her shoes in a pile and stalking across to pull herself up next to him.

"I'm Isabelle." She smiles, confused when he doesn't respond. She isn't supposed to talk to strangers but he looks nice (like her teachers at school) and she points to his arm. "Did you get hurt when the earth shook?"

He nods, adjusting the sling to sit more comfortably. "I did." He answers, watching her confidence suddenly waver.

Isabelle bites the bottom of her lip twirling her hands in her lap. "That's how my daddy got hurt too."

 _Shit_.

He winces breathing out a sigh. He's bad with kids at the best of times but he's not a complete asshole and tries to force a smile. "Don't worry... I'm sure he'll be better before you know it."

She seems to accept the answer and he closes his eyes stealing few seconds reprieve before she speaks up again.

"If not he can play with Milly."

He slides his gaze across to her and she unclasps her hands sitting them on the plastic arms of the chair.

"She was our cat-" she explains swinging her legs, "but she went to heaven. Mommy said one day we can all go there to see her again."

Something twinges inside his chest and he prays Mike is on his way back because he can't do it, sit here and listen to a six year old's optimism when that's not how the real world works. If he loses Donna he doesn't think he'll ever be able to come back from that.

"Are you sad?" She asks watching him with a frown. Her teacher said she's good at knowing when her friends are upset and she looks at the bandage around his shoulder crinkling her nose. "Does your arm hurt?

He shakes his head, eyes wandering across to the women he assumes is the girls mother and he selfishly thinks about waking her but can't bring himself to do it. She's probably exhausted and he isn't going to be the jackass who disturbs her, no matter how much he wants out of the awkward conversation. "It doesn't hurt," he assures her, locking his jaw and lifting it- breathing through a white hot flash of pain. "See, it's fine."

She nods but is still confused. When her friend Sally broke her wrist she was really upset and Isabelle turns in the chair, bringing her feet up and tugging on the lace around her sock. "If it doesn't hurt then why are you crying?"

He _isn't_.

But his eyes are red and raw from the need to. He's been keeping it together because he's had to for everyone else; Donna's parents, his own worried mother, Rachel and Mike... but now he's alone it's getting harder to maintain the front. Still he can't exactly lose it infront of the kid. Like Donna, she seems genuinely empathetic, and breathes in exhaling slowly. "You know how you're waiting for your dad to come out?" He glances up at the large double doors, "well I'm waiting for someone too and she's... very special to me."

A grin lights Isabelle's face. There are two kids in her class, a girl and boy, who everyone always teases when they sit together. "Is she your girlfriend?" She asks with a giggle.

Harvey nods, his expression softening slightly. "She's my fiancee."

Her face scrunches up at the word she's never heard before. "Whats that?"

He quickly remembers he's talking to a child and tries to think of a way to explain it so she'll understand. "It means I asked her to marry me and she said yes."

Isabelle looks over at where her mom is asleep in the corner. Her nana said her parents got married before she was born and she pucks her lips together making her thinking face. "That means mommy used to be daddy's fiankay"

"Exactly." He confirms, a touch of amusement winding into his smirk. She seems smarter than most of the lawyers he's worked with over the years and he can't help thinking if he and Donna do take the plunge, their child's already lucked in with the gene pool- kid's going to be. genius.

 _If they have children._

The thought rears tugging painfully through his chest. Right now the decision is out of both their hands and he flinches when Isabelle speaks up beside him.

"Did she get hurt in the rumble too?"

His words catch in his throat and he's never been more relieved by Mike's timing, the man appearing in front if him with two coffe cups and a raised eyebrow.

Isabell stares at the messy hair on the strangers head. It's like when her dad gives her a bath and uses the suds to make it all stand up but she can't see any soap and frowns. "Who's that, he looks funny."

Harvey composes himself with a half-smile leaning down next to her. "You know how you're Six." She nods as he takes one of the cups from Mike. "Well he's an even _bigger_ kid."

"Really?" He doesn't look like anyone from her school, not even the older boys and she folds her arms across her chest. "I bet I'm smarter."

"I think so too." He winks at her and the expression on Mike's face is priceless, the man rolling his eyes as he drops down into the seat beside him.

"I leave you alone for five minutes..." he waves his free hand candidly and whispers quitely under his breath so the girl wont hear, "you know you can't keep her, right?"

"Shut it." He takes a sip of his coffee thinking about what Donna told him while they were underground, that Mike is going to be a father himself soon. It's not his place to say anything but given everything that's happening Mike should be at home with Rachel not stuck babysitting him. All the stress can't be healthy and he settles on finding a way to approach it. It doesn't come easily and the pair sit in silence, Isabelle falling asleep while he continues debating how to break the news.

"She's cute." Mike points his cup toward the girl leaning against Harvey's uninjured side. "Likes you for some reason?"

He glances down to where her head is resting on the arm of his chair, her strawberry curis spilling over his sweater. "Kinda reminds me of Donna."

Mike notices the way his expression softens and draws a sip of his coffee thinking about Rachel. With everything going on it didn't feel right telling his friend they're expecting and he lifts his eyebrow curiously. "You guys thinking about kids?" Harvey's face falls at the question and Mike immediately winces. "Sorry."

There's no reason for him to apologise and it adds to Harvey's guilt. "Mike, you should go home."

It's an abrupt dismissal and the younger man instantly tenses. "I didn't mean-"

"It's not that." He cuts the younger man off taking a deep breath, "Rachel's pregnant." He's expects some sort of reaction but gets nothing and he lets out a sigh. "Which you already know."

It's a rehtotical statement but Mike still nods, confused more than anything. "Question is how do you know?"

Harvey gives a sheepish shrug. "Rachel told Donna before the wedding." It's hardly something Mike's going to worry about now and he's about to offer his congratulations when a thought sinks his mouth into a frown, " _wait_... if you know then why are you here?" Mike hides his reaction behind the stirafoam cup, the silence landing heavily between them, and Harvey flinches. "You think I might do something stupid, if..."

 _If Donna isn't okay._

He can't say it out loud but Mike's face confirms the fact and Harvey sets his coffee down on the floor, scrubbing a tired hand through his hair. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"Its not like that." Mike insists, honestly believing she'll be okay. He won't let himself consider an alternative but he knows how much Harvey cares about her. That's been obvious since long before they were a couple and he's seen how Harvey reacts when he's worried about her. "I just mean it's _Donna_. If that was Rachel in there I'd be losing my shit too."

Harvey knows it isn't meant as an insult, that Mike's only looking out for him and he picks up his cup with a wince being careful not to disturb the girl sleeping next to him. "Besides-" he huffs nodding at her, "I've got this one to keep me in line."

Surprisingly he actually seems to have bonded with her and although Mike is in two minds about leaving he still pushes a light smirk. "You angling for godparent status?"

"Isn't that a given?" Harvey throws back cocking an eyebrow. It seems to releive some of the tension and he's grateful. "If anything changes you'll be the first person I call."

Mike nods, hoping leaving isn't an error in judgement but they've known each other a long time and maybe a little space is what Harvey needs right now. In the meantime he can go home, check on Rachel and be back in a couple of hours to get an update. "You want me to grab anything?"

Harvey shakes his head. The only thing he wants is for Donna to be okay and he steels himself as Mike pushes up. " _Hey_..." he stops the younger man with a small but genuine smile, "congratulations."

"Kid's having a kid." Mike lifts up his hands with a shrug, fighting a wide grin.

Harvey breathes out and it's almost a chuckle. "Funny, that's what I said."

.｡o - o｡.

He wakes some time later with a start, surprised to find the young girl beside him gone and he can't place the feeling that gnaws at him, though it lessons when he spots her across the room. Both mother and daughter are talking to a man in a wheelchair, the father he presumes, and a small smile touches his lips. It's a small comfort and he breathes in sharply when the double doors open revealing the doctor he spoke to earlier. She looks exhausted and he pushes himself up meeting her half-way. He's too afraid to ask what happened, his throat closing tightly as she glances up from the electronic tablet in her hands.

"Mr. Specter." Her expression is gentle as she addresses him. "Miss Paulsen is out of surgery. We managed to find and stop the bleed but given the trauma she sustained there's still a high risk of infection. We're going to keep her in the ICU where we can monitor her vitals more closely."

He doesn't know what any of that means needing to hear it in black and white. "Is she going to be okay?" He presses, searching for an answer he can understand.

The doctor wishes she could reassure him but it's her job to deliver the facts and right now they simply don't know but it's the best outcome they could have hoped for. "We're still catious about complications but the proginisis for recovery is positive. We just have to take it one day at a time."

It doesn't fill him with confidence but if Donna were able she'd tell him it's something. She's always been the voice of reason in his head and he nods his thanks pulling out his phone to call Mike.

One day at a time.

And he'll be here for every one of them.


	13. Epilogue

But I can't stop thinking how you just keep making sense of all that was broken before.

And I won't keep faking, cause I'm done with taking... cause with you I'm not broken anymore."

 **\- Not Broken Anymore, Blue October**

xx

* * *

A soft rustle sifts through Donna's consciousness, a tightness spreading through her body as she slowly wakes up but it doesn't deter her. Something is pulling her toward the sound and she forces her eyes open finding Rachel next to her bed reading a magazine.

Confusion is her initial first response and she opens her mouth but the only sound that spills out is a dry croak. The brunette immediately glances up, closing the pages with a wide smile, "oh thank god."

Before Donna can ask Rachel reaches for the jug of water by the bed, quickly pouring a glass and bringing it to her best friends lips. The liquid feels like heaven as it glides down her throat but the relief is short lived. Harvey should be here and she instantly fears the worst, her hand shaking slightly as she clears the panic from her voice, "what happened, _Harvey_ -"

"Is fine." Rachel assures, pulling the plastic cup away and lowering herself back into the chair she's been occupying since the lawyer left. "Mike took him to get something to eat."

It's a relief and she nods trying to fight through the grogginess blanketing her thoughts. She can remember the quake, Mike on the radio but everything else is a blur and she blinks back the tears threatening to slip free. "Everyone else?"

"Minor injuries." There's a catch to Rachel's voice and she realizes who she's talking to, knowing she can't lie. "One of the choir members is still in intensive care but the prognosis is good. You and Harvey came out of it the worst."

It's something, _almost_ , and Donna sinks back into the pillows pulling herself together. Everyone's okay, that's the important thing and she breathes out slowly. "How long was I out?"

Rachel winces, curving her lips into a sympathetic smile. "You've been in and out for about a week."

A _week_.

It doesn't sound like it can be true but the fatigue rolling through her is a sign that it is. She can only imagine how worried everyone must have been. Harvey would have been beside himself and guilt worms its way into her chest. "He's really okay?"

Rachel wrestles with the truth again, not wanting to upset her friend but there isn't any point lying. For someone renowned to be calm and controlled under any situation, NYC's finest closer has been a wreck and she softens her expression knowing now Donna's awake it will turn the tables. "He's a little worse for wear but he'll be okay, you both will."

It doesn't reassure her. All she wants to do is see him and as if on cue his face appears at the door, a heavy five o'clock shadow making him nearly unrecognizable. Still, it's definitely him and moisture spills across her cheek as he strides forward to the bed.

"You need to shave." She feigns the humor which he ignores, his arms seeking her out and crushing around her. It's worth every second of pain and she doesn't want to let go, holding on almost desperately until he reluctantly breaks the hold.

She's forgetten they're not the only ones in the room when Rachel breaks the moment, clearaning her throat with a light smile. "We'll go call your parents, let them know you're awake."

Mike takes the unspoken hint, his shoulders relaxing as he steps up to give Donna a quick peck on the cheek. "Try not to fall in any holes while we're gone."

Rachel slaps him before Donna can utter the words too soon, an unamused look sliding into something else as she glances at Harvey. He looks awful and her mouth twists sympathetically as he drops into the chair beside her bed.

When the door closes she's the first to speak, squeezing his fingers. "I'm so sorry, Harvey."

He doesn't know why she's apologizing but it doesn't matter. She's here, awake and he shakes his head, fighting the emotion trapped in his throat. "Next time, we're eloping."

"I'm okay with that." She swallows a small chuckle, glancing at the sling wrapped around his shoulder. From what she can remember it was bad and she leans into the pillows with a sigh. "You okay, _really_?"

His lips curve up and it's the first genuine simle he's given in a week. "I am now." After everything they've been through to get here, too much, it seems almost impossible but he is.

So long as they have each other; that's all he needs.


End file.
